Poem # 1
I got a splinter in my ' Ring-Finger '.
I prayed it would NOT Long-Linger,
tried an antibiotic;
my Finger got necrotic**.
So I became an Ice Cream Binger***! !
Poem # 2
Ice Cream helped me to ignore....
most of the pain I had before,
BUT my teeth all did rot;
some fell out on the spot.
My smile, all did then deplore!
Poem # 3
I went to see a dental surgeon.
I thought she was a Vestal Virgin****.
She pulled out all my teeth.
[ Finger fell off: a RELIEF! ! ]
[ At first I survived on eggs of sturgeon. ]
Poem # 4
I asked the surgeon out on a date.
We went to a movie, staying out LATE,
I found she was NO virgin!
She had NO sex-aversion! !
Our child just-born was Number' EIGHT!
Poem # 5
Sooooooooooooooo, .....
If in YOUR finger you find a splinter,
be it Spring, Summer, Fall, ...or Winter,
skip 'To-God'-supplications!
Skip needless complications! !
To 'Emergency' GO like a SPRINTER*****! ! !
(April 5th,2024)
bri :)
[[ some definitions ]]:
** NECROTIC: referring to rotting 'living' flesh/bodily tissue
*** BINGER: a person 'addicted' to something, especially drugs and sometimes ice cream
**** VESTAL VIRGIN: [ YOU have two choices! ]
1:
'a virgin consecrated to the Roman goddess Vesta and to the service of watching the sacred fire perpetually kept burning on her altar.....
OR....
2:
: a chaste****** woman ..........((ha ha! NOT 'chased', though she may be...chased! ! !))
****** CHASTE: (adjective) 'abstaining from [aka 'going/doing without extramarital, or from all,
sexual intercourse'. LOOK UP 'intercourse' yourself! ! ! :)
***** SPRINTER:
'someone who runs short distances very fast'
(April 5th,2024)
bri edwards aka brian edward whitaker......(in The Real World)
;)
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This is one of PH's finest exhibitions of poetic perfection. ....signed Anonymous ;)
Thank you for sharing this entertaining limericks, Bri.
The five limerick poems are all well crafted and humorous. Hard to write limerick poems but you did it with ease.
Thanks, Ruth. You 'penned' your comment EXACTLY as I dictated it to you over the phone. Thanks. I 'owe ya'! ! : ) bri
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Though the pain did linger in the finger, Bri did survive and is still alive!