Cats (In The Style Of Edgar Allan Poe) Poem by Kim Barney

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I slumbered, tired and weary,
Dreaming of opening my own ice cream store,
While I snored there, plans a-hatching, suddenly there came a scratching,
Some small creature gently scratching, scratching at my bedroom door.
I dream, I thought, there is nothing, nothing scratching at my door.
And once more I began to snore.

'Twas then my dreams began in earnest,
And each thought began to turn itself to those lovely days of yore,
When I could eat a double twister, chocolate and vanilla twister
Payment borrowed from my sister, purchased from the ice cream store.
Then again I heard the scratching, scratching at my bedroom door.
And so once more I ceased to snore.

Out of bed I fell, uncertain of my balance, tore the curtain
From the window when I crashed there on the floor,
Skinned my knees and they were bleeding, yet my consciousness unheeding
As I felt that I was needing to open up that bedroom door
So I swallowed up my pride and flung that door there open wide- -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
fearing,
Then finally I saw appearing in my view a feline creature
But it had no distinct feature, just a shape and nothing more.
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, 'Meeeooowwrr! '
Merely this, and nothing more.

Then into the bedroom coming, was this feline softly humming,
Some quaint tune from days of yore. As he walked his claws were scratching,
Scratching, scratching on my floor.

As he came into the light, my eyes beheld a lovely sight,
Nothing much to give a fright, such as I had felt before.
Just a cat there in my bedroom, standing there inside my bedroom,
A cross-eyed cat and nothing more.

Had a funny-looking hat on; face looked like it had been sat on.
I took his picture so I could put that on
This poem for future fans galore.
Why are you here? I asked the cat. He said nothing, merely sat
Perched upon my rug and that seemed to him a welcome mat.
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this funny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
Speak, I said, Oh, strange young kitten, for with you I am quite smitten.
Think you that you should be gittin' profits from my ice cream store?
Long he sat and seemed to ponder, I wearied and my mind did wander
As he sat there on my floor. Then he spoke! At last he spoke!
Quoth the Feline, 'Meeeooowwrr! '