Cold Turkey Poem by Sulaiman Mohd Yusof

I woke up next morning crimping
Distraught and dejected
Body aching everywhere
I got no zest left
No energy left
Flattened and need to be grounded
In bed
Could not make it to the washroom
To release
There’s nothing to release
My whole system is halted
Immortalized
I felt chilled inside
But heated up on the outside
Like soaking your body
Into a boiling oil
I need a constant fan
And keep conditioning
At the same time need to bare body
Or the clothing will get wet
Due to constant sweating

No appetite to drink
No appetite to eat
No more cheers
No more laughter
No more self-confidence
No more easy going
No more friendly
I’m slumped and dumped
Numbed and clumped
My head becomes dull and heavy
Like a big rock is pouncing on it
I got to continue sleeping
To avoid the living hell
I managed to force myself to sleep
For the whole day
After the withdrawals

Leaping into a new dimension
This time my stomach is cramped
With massive pains
My joints are aching penetrative
To inner bones
I was shivered
Covered with blanket
Couldn’t last long
I felt like I was on fire with that thick linen
I got to be strong to go through
I got to do this for my mom
She had suffered long enough
To count the numbers
Of my occupations of prisons
And rehab centers
For one reason
That was Heroin

The next day
After a long constipation
Diarrhea paid me a visit
My bed was full of shits
Couldn’t make it on time
It’s keep coming gradually
My mind was rebelling
If I have to kill someone
Or to rob someone
I will do it
To get the stuff right now
Looking at mom
After all this while she was trying hardly
To get me cured and cleaned
Made me revoked the ideas
I have to be brave and strong
Freeing me from disastrous life
Which I thought a Heavenly life
Not for long when Hell laid his hands on you
You have to run for your lives
Or someone will found you death

On the third day of torture
I started sneezing rapidly
Vomiting every time after the insertion
Of foods or drinks
I was left with skin and bone
A living skeleton
My eyes were dried and sunken
My mind goes blank
I hated myself
I hated the whole world

On the night of the 3rd day
Brother and mom carried me to the bathroom
I was thrown into a tub full of ices
For almost half an hour
I was in the freezing ocean
But not drowned
I survived the ordeal
Thanks to my loving family
Who loved me for what I am

On the 5th day of withdrawal
Things started to normalize
Mentally and physically
I felt stronger
And better
For mom
I will be clean
I’ll be your hero
I’ll not fall again to bloody heroin
Let bygone be bygone
Let it gone with the wind
I will win