Forget-me-not, I felt how fair you be
the pleasing mien of you still haunts my eyes
though I must stay away from where love lies
so many flies they make it hard to see
oh, God has made a flower very fair
your petals are too shiny for a bloom
that God may let you clear the hatred gloom
and splay your scent of peace toward the air
so why do you always forget what's due?
am I so bad that I shall not find you?
Forget-me-not~=~a type of flower
form: iambic pentameter,2 quatrains and a couplet
Omar Ibrahim, June,2010
omaribrahim-keats@hotmail.com
Soon after reading such a wonderful poem, I have become paralyzed.... The name of the poem really affected me... A great masterpiece...
wonderful poem. favorite lines: 'so why do you always forget what's due? am I so bad that I shall not find you? ' reallly does good to the poem. keeep writting! (:
A well expressed poem. Good poetic language, well done; D
I'am very impressed by this poem being written by someone so young. You have done an excellent job. Keep up the good work. Lynn
..the pleasing mien of you still haunts my eyes though I must stay away from where love lies... oh, God has made a flower very fair your petals are too shiny for a bloom... Real Loving Lines! Thanks for the Lines and expressions! Siddartha Montik!
Again, a good attempt at the set form, it follows the script precisely, and shows how difficult it can be to get it right. 'I felt how fair you be.' This phrase could only be acceptable in the mouth of a comedic peasant! What 'flies' make it hard to see, in the context of the poem?
well written, Nature's daily blossom expressed in Flowers, yes slowl revealings thru the dew of early mornings! yes for a 9!
I concur the ending is very strong and makes the good poem. Excellent work.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Very good poem. A pleasure to read, like music.