David DeSantis

Rookie (01/29/85 / Utica, NY)

.insomnia - Poem by David DeSantis

2: 13
and the clock ticks,

tick tock..
tick tock..

A.M. frustration
and sunken eyes,

tick tock..
tick tock..

My head in a pillow
brain on auto-pilot,

tick tock..
tick tock..

nothing works
nothing ever does,

tick tock..
tick tock..

small town doldrums
I'm only 23,

tick tock..
tick tock..

This isn't what I want
this isn't me..

tick tock..
tick tock..

tick..
tock..


Copyrig ht (c) David DeSantis


Comments about .insomnia by David DeSantis

  • (2/2/2009 3:35:00 AM)


    like this simple take on Insomnia as well... hope you are doing other tings to substitute sleeping these days... aroha Deana xx (Report) Reply

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  • (7/17/2008 12:17:00 PM)


    well, at least you put that free time to some good use, in making a poem. -chuck (Report) Reply

  • (7/13/2008 11:59:00 AM)


    I see what you are doing in this, but I would like you to consider fresher language. There certainly is a poem here in the middle of your night...but this one seems too simplistic and nearly trite. Work on it, David. I know you have it in youl.

    Raynette
    (Report) Reply

  • (7/11/2008 4:15:00 PM)


    You were right. We do have very similar styles. I really like the concept of time just passing uselessly and uncontestedly. Many poems have the same motivation, but this one is truely unique and entertaining. Great rhythm! (Report) Reply

  • (7/11/2008 8:03:00 AM)


    One of the best poems I have ever read...tick tock tick tock and the time is flying like anything leaving us behind....in misery and discontentment.....and thats not all yet....The rythym of words was perfect.... very well done..thanks.I enjoyed it a lot.
    Gul
    (Report) Reply

  • Loyd C. Taylor, Sr. (6/26/2008 5:05:00 AM)


    Looks like your wrote a winner on the night you could not sleep. I could relate to this and enjoyed it my friend. Loyd (Report) Reply

  • (6/24/2008 12:29:00 PM)


    My cure for insomnia? Working the graveyard shift.
    Seriously, this is spare and simple, expressing a heartfelt frustration and confusion. The ticking of the clock device works well here.
    Good work.
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/23/2008 4:38:00 PM)


    This is very good its something anyone can relate to Thanks Ivor (Report) Reply

  • Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello (6/17/2008 9:59:00 AM)


    This poem reminds me of an Italian one: 'The sick fountain'. I'll look for it...Dave understood very well my: 'Canto a 2 voci'. Did I understand this one? Well, let's look for this 'fountain', it has to be by Aldo Palazzeschi, I think. (Report) Reply

  • (6/17/2008 7:24:00 AM)


    Isn't it the worst when this happens? .... (at least you got a poem out of it!) HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Poem Edited: Tuesday, June 17, 2008


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