Rafiq Sandeelvi

Rookie - 30 Points (1st December,1961 / Pakistan)

It’s A Camel Ride - Poem by Rafiq Sandeelvi

It’s a camel ride, and I
In a desolate street
Of a ravaged city
Holding the worn-out leather reins
Drive towards that home
On whose threshold
A sorrowful woman is tethered down
With a cord
Of my promise
A sturdy cord, weaved from heart-strings
Bare-headed, for many centuries
Teary eyes
Eyes with the glint of an ancient star
Anxious to imbibe the smell of my ashen robe
And to hear the distressed grunts
Of my brown camel.

The same soggy corner of the chamber
Where one night
When wooden arrows were raining down
I had abandoned her
Vulnerable and lonely
I still remember every bit
The drizzle had stopped
The moon was seated in the night sky
Like a youthful prince on the throne
The air caressed the cheeks like a silken shawl
The street was fast asleep
The houses, in their cold and wet shells
As if made of soft and thin paper
Or carved out of wax
Standing since eternity
In a big painting


The same soggy corner of the chamber
Where glittering sunbeams were spotlighting
The fresh fig leaf
In her long, unbraid hair
I still remember every bit
The kiss on her wheatish elbow
The same night
When I had laid my sword at her feet
And had pledged:
“My body, and the strength that runs it
Will accompany your passion
Till eternity … beyond eternity
Till the verge of existence and nonexistence
Time listens
I make my witnesses
This moon on the sky
The sword in your feet
And the fig leaf in your hair.”

God, what a moment that was
what a moment this is!
The street, deserted and hushed
What a wretched moment, in which
Neither a tiny bird nor a moth
Or a paltry ant has crossed my way
Much less a human being
It’s a camel ride, and I
Holding the worn-out leather reins
Drive towards that home
… Drive towards a doomsday, a silent doomsday
A doomsday of somebody’s sobs and sighs
A scene
A scene where a street
And a brown camel
And the company of a spineless man
A never-ending journey till eternity

It’s camel ride
Or the ride on the exhausted nerves?
Or a trial by a bizarre dream?
Frozen pupils
Unmoving shadow of the camel
All images have lost in the mirror
I’m in the street for a long time
Where is she, my dearest?
She, of the soggy chamber?
She, of the melodious chimes?
She, of the lands, of oceans, of souls, of heavens?

The eyes strain but the tears don’t roll down
The street never ends
Command the street to end!
I, sitting on the brown, frail camel
Count my last days
How I long for even a bee from her era
To flit through the street
How I beg for pardon at her doorstep
How I crave to bow my head
So that, on account of that bee from her era
I take my withered body
And my frail camel
And cross the last bounds of the street.


Comments about It’s A Camel Ride by Rafiq Sandeelvi

  • Jaishree Nair (11/1/2017 12:17:00 AM)

    Superb write and the torment after realisation well expounded... The lines are emotionally drenched with the tears of regret. Thanks for sharing. (Report)Reply

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  • Amitava Sur (2/2/2016 8:09:00 AM)

    Hi - dear Rafiq, I'm sorry to respond lately to your invitation. It's alovly emotional write where you spoke from deep inside your heart. A beautiful story telling what I thoroughly enjoyed. Thanks for sharing. (Report)Reply

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  • Nosheen Irfan (12/13/2015 2:58:00 AM)

    Mind-blowing imagery. A lover's guilt and regret expressed with such beauty of language that i'm completely blown away. Mature writing by a gifted poet.10 (Report)Reply

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  • Bharati Nayak (6/22/2015 11:12:00 AM)

    Oh this poem is like that music which comes from very far as if from heaven or from a distant land.The tune touches you deep within.You want to listen more of it.Without knowing its meaning or understanding its language you want to get absorbed.I read it, reread it several times and overwhelmed by its sheer beauty.It speaks of like lonely journey, promises made to one; s own creative self that has remained unfulfilled, symbolized by the worn out leather reins, the poet wants that spark to cross the threshold.
    Wondering for more words- to say on this poem- - - -I congratulate the poet for such an excellent poem.
    (Report)Reply

    Rafiq Sandeelvi(6/22/2015 2:36:00 PM)

    thanks

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  • Roop Rekha Bhaskar (6/22/2015 4:19:00 AM)

    heart breaking poem. leaving the reader to his/her imagination. will they meet? will she take him back? will he find her? both left alone in their own word, pining for each other. very sad to read. (Report)Reply

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  • Vi Nhat Thuy (6/21/2015 8:27:00 AM)

    what a beautiful poem! it touched me with the storm of the passion of the heart, the sorrows and lonliness. The shadows of the a lonely man, the camel, the emptiness of the town, all, are so vivid. reading your poem I feel it's so close to my heart the sadness and desperateness of one's journey in life. Thanks Rafig Sandeelvi for sharing a beautiful poem. Nhat Thuy Vi (Report)Reply

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  • Darlene Walsh (6/20/2015 7:58:00 PM)

    A beautiful, but very sad poem. An unfilled promise and a lost love. I was hoping for a happy ending, but alas, like too often in real life, only loss. (Report)Reply

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  • Dan Reynolds (2/21/2014 2:59:00 PM)

    Sublime writing, imagery and emotion. (Report)Reply

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  • (1/5/2014 7:58:00 AM)

    Wonderful execution. And beautiful imagery. (Report)Reply

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  • Hazel Durham (1/1/2014 4:44:00 AM)

    With lines of such beauty and splendour, I was riveted with this spellbinding tale! ! (Report)Reply

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  • Shania K. Younce (12/26/2013 12:45:00 AM)

    What a beautiful poem. I quite enjoyed it. (Report)Reply

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  • Paul Brookes (12/25/2013 5:15:00 AM)

    No comment of mine can be better than the poem you have written. Well done and thanks for sharing BB (Report)Reply

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  • (11/4/2012 9:48:00 PM)

    A heart-wrenching account of regret and deep sorrow-a deep symbolic poem! (Report)Reply

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  • (10/14/2012 9:14:00 AM)

    your writing subliminal dear poet. enjoyed the read. keep it up! (Report)Reply

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  • Sridatta Gupta (9/27/2012 10:31:00 PM)

    awesome. extremely gripping.keep up the good work. (Report)Reply

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  • Hazel Durham (9/27/2012 7:36:00 AM)

    Powerful story told with great imagery and woven with such regret and tenderness! great write! (Report)Reply

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  • (9/26/2012 5:44:00 AM)

    i have no words to describe your work. Sublime! please never stop writing..... (Report)Reply

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  • (9/24/2012 1:36:00 PM)

    Thank you for inviting me to read your work, nicely woven story. (Report)Reply

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  • Allemagne Roßmann (9/23/2012 12:56:00 PM)

    superb write...rich and allusive (Report)Reply

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  • Linda May Fox (6/24/2012 1:01:00 PM)

    What a beautiful poem, full of imagery and very crafted. A poem written from the heart, Has a sense of another world. I enjoyed it! (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 25, 2011

Poem Edited: Saturday, August 6, 2011


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