Rafiq Sandeelvi

Rookie - 30 Points (1st December,1961 / Pakistan)

When The Day Dawned - Poem by Rafiq Sandeelvi

The day was yet to dawn.
From the warmth of my cosy bed,
as I stepped out of the house,
the entire town slept;
a gigantic cocoon,
in its depth,
the silkiness of existence,
folded in the mystique of darkness,
in the aura of a wasteland from ancient times,
as if the roads, fields, houses and trees cast by a magic spell;
time, to its core drunk with antiquity,
environs perpetuating colour.
In the timelessness of eternity,
in the mute fog,
people in their bed-chambers crouched in sleep,
the radiant moonlight in the sky paled.
A deathly silence,
flames in clay-lamps dwindling to their end.
A probable rain ahead.
Right above the street, chunks of clouds coursed the sky.
Shivering in the wintry wind adjusting the folds of the dark shawl around my body,
wiping away from the canopy of tearful eyes,
images of children serenely asleep,
mumbling to myself,
I reached the riverside,
got into the boat.

The day was yet to dawn.
Yearning for the other shore,
my boat moved with the rushing waves.
The morning star winked.
The boat, water,
the sail, the oars, the darkness and my drowsy self,
all elements converged into one:
a long lost memory flowered in the heart.
Then the day dawned.
The sun took over at noon,
shadows crawled in the descending light,
evening fell,
then darkness cloaked all.
A journey of several hundred nights at last touched the shore.

When the next day dawned,
my house was draped in mourning.


(Translated by Yasmin Hameed)


Comments about When The Day Dawned by Rafiq Sandeelvi

  • Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (12/5/2014 10:15:00 AM)

    The sun took over at noon,
    shadows crawled in the descending light,
    evening fell,
    A poem on beautiful description of dawn in its entirety.Well expressed Well done.I enjoyed it.
    Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
    (Report)Reply

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  • Jasbir Chatterjee (4/4/2014 2:12:00 AM)

    it's a beautiful poem, Rafiq, thanks for sharing...The last 2 lines make it all the more poignant and touching... (Report)Reply

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  • Shania K. Younce (12/26/2013 1:03:00 AM)

    I would like very much to read more. That is if you have any more. I like this most. Well done! (Report)Reply

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  • Dinesh Nair (12/25/2013 5:01:00 PM)

    Well expressed and aptly worded. You have talent and enough wherewithal to make innings. Go ahead. (Report)Reply

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  • (4/24/2013 3:08:00 PM)

    We are indebted to Yasmin for translating your beautiful poem... of all the powerful lines my favorite is
    'a long lost memory flowered in the heart' For the sake of all of us please keep writing
    (Report)Reply

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  • Hazel Durham (9/27/2012 7:26:00 AM)

    A beautiful haunting poem full of wonderful imagery creating an atmosphere of pending foreboding! Great write! (Report)Reply

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  • Margaret Haig (9/26/2012 7:09:00 AM)

    Different but good, you let the picture of what you were saying flow thru your oems well done. All the best in future (Report)Reply

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  • Linda May Fox (6/24/2012 1:21:00 PM)

    I really loved this. Sad but beautiful. The words you used just flow with the meaning of the poem! (Report)Reply

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  • Supriya Prathapan (1/17/2012 7:18:00 AM)

    Gr8 imagery. The serenity and silence of the early morning hours. Scary and lonely because there are very few people who are awake and at the same time very peaceful. Death described beautifully in the last four lines.10++ (Report)Reply

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  • ~....my Life Is My Poem....~ (1/1/2012 10:20:00 AM)

    Amazing..! ! ! I was completely engrossed in your poetry until the end... speechless sir i am..! ! (Report)Reply

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  • Miraj Patel (12/29/2011 1:41:00 PM)

    your poems have great sense with imagination and story....
    amazing work that's the only thing i can say....
    (Report)Reply

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  • (10/30/2011 11:42:00 AM)

    I was just stunned...and then I read it again n again n again... (Report)Reply

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  • Louis Cecile (10/24/2011 12:17:00 PM)

    Nice flow and growing narrative style to cast a great image for the day to dawn. Good piece of writing. (Report)Reply

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  • Aditi Khandelwal (10/23/2011 10:43:00 AM)

    Excellent write... A total 10 your poem held my concentration till the last word... Really amazing.

    'The day was yet to dawn.
    From the warmth of my cosy bed,
    as I stepped out of the house,
    the entire town slept;
    a gigantic cocoon, '
    (Report)Reply

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  • Ency Bearis (10/13/2011 5:40:00 AM)

    nice vivid write, a remarkable concept (Report)Reply

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  • Jacqui Broad (10/8/2011 12:43:00 AM)

    'Don't pay the ferryman, until he gets you to the other side.' I think this is an insightful poem about life, and death. Not nice to think about, but its the only certainty we have... I still have so much to learn... (Report)Reply

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  • (8/22/2011 9:28:00 AM)

    your descriptions are amazing, and it flows really well. i hope that you continue writing. i really enjoy your poems. (Report)Reply

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  • Romeo Della Valle (8/21/2011 10:28:00 PM)

    I fully agree with all of my fellow poets that commented on this talented write! A reservoir of powerful words and rich imagery! I take my hat off for you my friend! 10+++ Keep inspiring the World with your excellent and talented writes! Love and Peace for always! Romeo from New York City! ... (Report)Reply

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  • Pranab K Chakraborty (8/10/2011 2:30:00 AM)

    When the next day dawned,
    my house was draped in mourning.....

    The essence of these two lines dominates the total writing with the majestic beauty of silence which blot out our existence forever. Imagery like a successful movie by Kurosowa. Tranquil but moving without hampering our attention. Actually you have written silence under a shadow of melancholic trauma. Very powerful the pen, no pain it gives but we feel an end is nearing to a life......10+++++
    Regards,
    pranab
    (Report)Reply

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  • Shamin Shah (8/4/2011 5:17:00 AM)

    WOW! ! !
    +++++10 on your poetry.
    I was completely engrossed in your poetry until the end...
    each and everything like people and nature are described with amazing words and phrases...
    your poetry really shines
    (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Poem Edited: Saturday, July 9, 2011


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