Jagged Jarid Vs Masher Matty Poem by Jim McGill

Jagged Jarid is a jolting juggernaut
who can jar or jog a jutting jowl
He's a burley blaster, and a beater;
a blazing burner in a brawl
It was Masher Matty he was to grapple;
a gruesome grinding, gritty grabber
Who is a swell and swarthy swank
and a slinging, slapping body slabber
With arms and legs both same length,
and head sunk beneath his shoulders
But Jagged Jarid's hammer hands
are humongous, heinous holders

Jagged Jarid stood upon the mat
looking dangerous and defiant
His head squeezed his shoulders,
as if screwed tight by the Green Giant
Ducking under arm, Jarid grabbed
a single leg and too Matty's dread
He pulled it right, then left, then up,
and over the Masher's head
Lifting high, Jarid slammed him to the mat,
which sorely shook the Masher's entrails
Three arms wrapped Matty's legs,
a thumb an' finger plugged his nostrils

Jagged Jarid sat solidly on top
and Masher was pretzeled underneath
Helpless, not knowing what to do,
but then a testicle, rubbed his teeth
Hidden as it was, one bite, should make
Jarid jump and surely set him free...
The Masher bit hard; gaining inner strength,
he straightened out immediately
Then he started dancing, which...
I know was quite a spectacle
Poor Masher Matty...
he bit his own testicle!


Jim McGill - December/22