Uriah Hamilton


Just Thinking About Walt Whitman - Poem by Uriah Hamilton

In the lunch hour alleys of the city,
We ate our Mexican food with the mild sauce,
Not wanting to raise the heat of our conversations;
Our plans were a rock concert at a small venue
Where the pretty but slightly plump girls scream
Drunken love to the lead singer,
And the tall man with the fresh tan
Hangs out in the back aisle scoping out the chicks;
And a few people begin to dance with missile-happy,
Excited legs spraying all over the place,
And I just want everyone to be joyful
Without punk rocking the scene with any consonantal violence,
And I always want to dig the waitress passing out the beers,
She tends to have cute, short black hair and some hip tattoo;
If I’m already sober, she will give me a free coffee
And I’ll sit in a dimly-lit back corner all lonely
And try to write a melancholy poem about her eyes;
If I’m slightly inebriated, she’ll smile and get an easy tip
And then tell me to behave myself;
Someone will bring pizza and get all-tomato stained
In the shuffle and flow of the night,
And then, when I go outside, I’ll have a fistful
Of quarters and dimes to give to the homeless guys
In some small way to pay back my debt to society
For letting me read Walt Whitman undisturbed on Sundays.


Comments about Just Thinking About Walt Whitman by Uriah Hamilton

  • (10/25/2005 10:14:00 AM)

    hey Uriah, this poem has a heartbeat all its own...beautiful writing...after reading it, I get a sense of actually sharing it with you...and maybe in some way I do, since you often read to me...thanks for that and thank for this.

    always,
    Amberlee
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  • (10/18/2005 4:31:00 PM)

    whether this is fictional or not, your attention to detail is keen. one of your best, Uriah.

    (did you mean 'scoping out the chicks'?)

    Jake
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  • Ernestine Northover (10/18/2005 11:42:00 AM)

    Gosh, Uriah, that poem came alive, I could picture the whole scene. Brilliant! Sincerely Ernestine (Report)Reply

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  • (10/18/2005 11:27:00 AM)

    Uriah, there is some good description going on here. I think you might have brought Walt into your poem early on somehow and then written him in at the last, as you did. I liked the ending a lot. Change on of your 'always' to another word so you don't have two lines in a row with that word.

    Raynette
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  • Theorem Thetruthserum (10/18/2005 10:30:00 AM)

    Good stuff...Walt Whitman is very good and seeing live music is very good as well. I believe this will inspire one for me...I used to preform live music. (Report)Reply

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  • (10/18/2005 10:24:00 AM)

    I love how descriptive you are here Uriah. I felt like I was right there with you. Very nice. Sincerely, Mary (Report)Reply

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  • (10/18/2005 10:11:00 AM)

    Very nice Uriah...very nice. (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Poem Edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005


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