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! Monsoon! !

Rating: 3.1
Rain on my dreams, Monsoon
black clouds...
rain on my ornamental feathers
shower on my pure earth
on my pleasant dawns,
my passionate oceans, mountains
deep meadows and all over my
marigolds, campanulas
on days petals chisel like
black stone, carve a deity
for me to worship
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COMMENTS
Indira Babbellapati 13 August 2008
rain has this quality of influencing each in a unique way...i translated a short story on rain...it simply haunts...
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Amber Lamb 13 August 2008
I love the rain, superb.
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Kesav Easwaran 11 August 2008
what chases your song birds forcing you to nest them in? rain or black clouds? rain doesn't fit there that good, for rain is welcome to you, you want to shower in it...or is that you prefer here not to see your song birds drenched? bit confusing... the poem addresses rain...so 'you chase' means 'rain chases'... i would prefer 'your black shadows chase' or some thing like that... a poem otherwise well worded well written...despite this the poem, ten grade...
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Dr.subhendu Kar 09 August 2008
yet beautiful flow of words by the imagery of nature making all symmetrical and scintillating with little confusion of black clouds again, the monsoon when cuddles the drems, unique expression of ingenuity, well penned, thanks for sharing
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Rani Turton 08 August 2008
Very well-expressed. The imagery speaks to the reader. Thanks.
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Indira Renganathan 08 August 2008
A poetic rain.Well done Rema.10
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Ivan Donn Carswell 07 August 2008
A shower of unique but cannily mixed metaphors spreads delight throughout this piece. A metaphoric feast in monsoonal munificence! Rgds, Ivan
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Andrew mark Wilkinson 06 August 2008
Wonderful poem Rema, sounds like my home, always dark clouds and rain... Andrew 10
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Dr.subhendu Kar 03 August 2008
really wonderful poem by the monsoon yet of unique genre rain razzling on the dream, heart revels by the pure earth, yet mystque rain when respires, well penned,10+, thanks for sharing
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Victoria Dame 03 August 2008
If i may copy a line from your poem I like your melancholic rhythm of this poem...nice work!
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