Rain on my dreams, Monsoon
black clouds...
rain on my ornamental feathers
shower on my pure earth
on my pleasant dawns,
my passionate oceans, mountains
deep meadows and all over my
marigolds, campanulas
on days petals chisel like
black stone, carve a deity
for me to worship
while you play cancans, I sit in
my chamber and play mandolin
give me plectrums to pluck strings
from your drizzle source
my song birds, clouds
you chased out, I nest
them in my heart’s comfort
faded sun rays I fill in cauldrons
to subside your hunger
rain, terrorize black clouds
and shower all over me
I like your melancholic rhythm
© Rema Prasanna
July 31,2008
A shower of unique but cannily mixed metaphors spreads delight throughout this piece. A metaphoric feast in monsoonal munificence! Rgds, Ivan
Wonderful poem Rema, sounds like my home, always dark clouds and rain... Andrew 10
really wonderful poem by the monsoon yet of unique genre rain razzling on the dream, heart revels by the pure earth, yet mystque rain when respires, well penned,10+, thanks for sharing
If i may copy a line from your poem I like your melancholic rhythm of this poem...nice work!
rain has this quality of influencing each in a unique way...i translated a short story on rain...it simply haunts...
what chases your song birds forcing you to nest them in? rain or black clouds? rain doesn't fit there that good, for rain is welcome to you, you want to shower in it...or is that you prefer here not to see your song birds drenched? bit confusing... the poem addresses rain...so 'you chase' means 'rain chases'... i would prefer 'your black shadows chase' or some thing like that... a poem otherwise well worded well written...despite this the poem, ten grade...
yet beautiful flow of words by the imagery of nature making all symmetrical and scintillating with little confusion of black clouds again, the monsoon when cuddles the drems, unique expression of ingenuity, well penned, thanks for sharing
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A poetic rain.Well done Rema.10