Script Changes I'd Like To See Poem by Brian Mayo

Glenda, The Good Witch: (condescending laugh) “You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas…”

Dorothy: (dubious) “I have? ”

Scarecrow: (accusing) “Then why didn’t you tell her before? ”

Good Witch: (presumptuous) “Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.”

Tinman: (turning to Dorothy and putting her on the spot) “What have you learned, Dorothy? ”

Dorothy: (uncertain) “Well, I think that… it wasn’t enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Aunty Em… And… if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire… I won’t look any further than my own back yard… because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with… Is that right? ”

*****

Good Witch: (disappointed) “Ummm, no, that’s NOT right. I’m not even sure that made sense… ‘Don’t look where now… because you never did what? ’ Seriously- -what the hell did you just say? ”

Dorothy: (desperate) “Hold on a sec, I got this one… Um, what have I learned, what have I learned... Okay! - - I believe that ALL people, no matter what, ummm, religion, or race or creed… or whatever, um, have a right to follow yellow brick roads, and stuff like that. Is that closer? ”

Good Witch: (incredulous) “What? No, no- -you’re making this too complicated. Think, for God’s sake! ”

Dorothy: (panicking) 'Ahhh… Scarecrow? ? ? Come on, help me out a little, here- -What have I learned, dammit? ”

Scarecrow: (disgusted with himself) “Dory, I got nothin. Awww, man! I knew this was gonna happen…! Darnit! This brain don’t work for BEANS! ” (begins hitting himself in the head with both hands)

Good Witch: (mean-spirited) “Frankly, I can’t believe you three settled for a bunch of worthless trinkets…”

Lion: (sheepish) “I was afraid to say anything.”

Tinman: (seething from the Good Witch’s cheap shot) “If I ever see that sash-wearing fat-man again I’ll strangle him with my mechanical hands… and believe me, he’ll WISH I had a heart! ”

Lion: (posturing) “I should’a beat him to death with that iron broomstick.”

Scarecrow: (envious) “Damn… I wish I’d have thought of that. Oh MAN! ” (hits himself on head, again)

Dorothy: (outraged) “He looked so nice! That’s the LAST time I trust a stranger! ”

Good Witch: (starts clapping, impressed) “By George, I think she’s finally got it… Now wake the hell up, Dummy! ”