Shut Out Poem by Valsa George
Shut Out
I met her in the orphanage
That sheltered drab lives
A young girl past her teens
Deaf and dumb, not by birth
But through an accident
She had a past, bright n' beautiful
But the free moving gears
Came suddenly to a painful halt
Once her ocean was dotted with
Boats ready to set sail
Now she seems to drift
Through a vacant space
Darting in and out of shadows
Through gestures wild
She tries to communicate
But is mostly incomprehensible
And her face goes into scowling
As she fails to make herself understood
Yet her eyes tell a story
Which brighten at the prospect
Of someone ready to listen intent
Her inability doesn't deter her
From trying again and again to recount
Some prized incident locked up in her memory
That is a shut vault now
Whose key is lost to her forever!
Yet in her bastion of darkness
A lantern still flickers!
A fantastic write, Valsa-ji. Soul-stirring and touching narration. The ending with a flickering lantern in it is just great.(10)
A highly evaluated poem filled with love and compassion. The story of deaf and dumb young girl has been heartrendingly delineated. The last two lines are much impressive. Brilliant poem shared amazingly.10
The title attracted me and as I read through it the story of that girl kept welling in heart. The love and empathy displayed in these words kept my heart at an edge. Many times here in schools I have worked with children like that girl. The way they speak with their eyes is some thing that never goes away from my memories. I read your poem on Bri's showcase too. It is as touching and delicate as this one. Left a comment there too. Thank you so much for sharing them.
Savita.... glad you liked this poem......! Those who have met such helpless souls in life can easily relate to this poem....! But only those with empathy can feel for them and I believe you liked the poem only because you have that quality in you! Thanks a lot!
Your poem captured my attention and reminded me of an encounter I had with a beautiful young deaf woman when I was a teen. Your story is compelling on so many levels: the tragedy of loss experienced by this young woman whose past is bright and beautiful...but not her future. I love the line about her ocean once being dotted with all kinds of ships ready to set sail...until... And maybe all of these things could be overcome if she was in a different place...but she's in an orphanage, past the age of finding a family...the implication to me is that she's been discarded. Well done.
Pamela....You have understood correctly the entire background of the girl mentioned. Glad that you could relate to a similar experience! If she had been deaf and dumb by birth, it would have been easier for her to cope with her disability. But suddenly getting deprived of a faculty she once enjoyed is so depressing! thanks for the read and the comment!
After ball the sadness; it was a relief when you put in a bit of hope. Brilliant write!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 7:31:52 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Valsa, this is a monumental poem. A hugely important write. An incredibly poetic write. I has everything a piece of writing should have, ... a valuable topic, a setting, a gripping character, a piece that throbs with compassion and LOVE and tenderness and caring- - Valsa, I cannot say enough about all these aspects, all these striking verses, the value of every single life.... - - - - - - - - - - -Once her ocean was dotted with Boats ready to set sail Now she seems to drift Through a vacant space Darting in and out of shadows - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - but then you move to the courageous Through gestures wild She tries to communicate But is mostly incomprehensible And her face goes into scowling As she fails to make herself understood Yet her eyes tell a story Which brighten at the prospect Of someone ready to listen intent Her inability doesn't deter her From trying again and again to recount Some prized incident locked up in her memory That is a shut vault now Whose key is lost to her forever! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - but you leave us with that most important gift, hope! Yet in her bastion of darkness A lantern still flickers! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - a 10, a valued place in my favorite list of poems, a place in my heart
Hmm..... I am floored by your comment, Susan! Thank you so much for such highly encouraging words! You are so generous!