Sonnet Beyond Love Poem by Adeline Foster
Sonnet Beyond Love
Forever in the caverns of my heart
Roam spirits of the loves I leave behind.
Ever will the echo of their touch
Leave patterns of their footsteps in my mind.
With nicks from many partings in the past
Ever will those cavern walls be lined.
Drops of mem'ry build stalagmites of the cast
Of actors in my theater of time.
Ever have my footsteps shunned the paths
That lead to those whose touch have been unkind.
Remnants of the folly of my wraths
Throw up the rocks where painful pathways wind.
Beyond a love is one that shares the pain
To clear the rubble from those paths again.
*Note how the first eight lines carry a theme and the subtle reversal of theme in the last six lines; an option of sonnets that is little known and all too often ignored.
Hey Adeline - I gave this beautiful sonnet a 10, but I was wondering if the 9 syllables in lines (3) , (6) , (9) and (11) and the eleven syllables in line (7) still qualify this lovely poem as a sonnet? I know my Love Sonnets may be a little odd, but I do believe that the structure is important, but maybe not as important as the beautiful words that you are able to express? Please feel free to read some more of my odd little poems - especially the triolets - and give me your opinion, that I really would find quite relevant and useful PS: I was born in Buffalo New York and know a little about the lovely Canadian populace. Also, is that bio of yours written by you, in the third person? ? ?
Life is full of memories, and in this poem, you show how powerful memory is. Thanks.
To clear the rubble from those paths again! Thanks for sharing.
Like Diane Hine, I love the closing couplet - the imagery, the life experiences revealed, the hardships, even the title - everything in those twelve lines prepares us for that closing revelation of the spiritual being BEYOND LOVE but still part of love's community. And, yes, I sensed the turning after the first 8 lines. The Italian sonneteers called this turning the VOLTA, but it doesn't apply to the Shakespearean form which is divided into quatrains. I find this Italian model much more satisfying in your skilled handling of its multiple tones. It's a complete experience of the journey to love, all the way to its source.
I felt that L.7 lost a little in iambic structure, but that might be an accentual thing. Drops of mem'ry build stalagmites of the cast I would have liked Where memories build stalagmites of the cast But hey, it's a scan thing. The theme is lovely.
i liked what jbl wrote below about the relative importance of structure versus words in a poem... a sonnet at least i guess. adeline suggested i read this or i would never? have found it. and to answer adeline here, i don't think i have ever attempted or thought to attempt to write a sonnet. limericks yes. but i don't worry TOO much about my poems' structure, especially after a very good friend (who may have written one poem only in his life) told me my poems were too structured (or something like that) . OF COURSE each person is free to enjoy the types of poems they want and to pay as much or as little attention to structure as they wish. i do wonder: is my theater of time referring to the heart or the mind.......or both? bri.....thanks for sharing!
Great poems I will sit at the feet of the mistress and learn by reading your lines: 0)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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6/1/2023 12:24:38 AM # 1.0.0.1113
I checked some of Shakespeare's sonnets and found you right. That is why you are the tutor and I still learning-thank you.This sonnet is rife with imagery and a joy to read