Beach Girl

The Golden Elixir - Poem by Beach Girl

The she creature rose

From depths of the darkness

And smoothly swam

To the brambled banks

There in the moonlight

The gold bottle beckoned

And glistening with water

She stepped from the lake

Her tawny hand, grasped

The round amber bottle

And bowing her head

Inhaled the mixture

Citrus and spices

Danced in the darkness

And tears from the trees

Escaped the elixir

The amber spoke

Of tales from the past

And balsam of twigs

Poured out her heart

The nymph from the lake

Danced in the darkness

This golden elixir

Would ne're from her part

Topic(s) of this poem: nature

Poet's Notes about The Poem

Actually this is just another poem about a fragrance I own.

Comments about The Golden Elixir by Beach Girl

  • Unwritten Soul (8/15/2017 6:39:00 AM)

    Oh thats awesome to know how fragrance can inspire you, when i read it i imagine of fantasy like a dreamy inspired and thats cool to know fragrance does magic to your pen. Personally scent always give great door to revisit past memory.. :) (Report) Reply

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  • Perry Biggerstaff (8/5/2016 5:54:00 AM)

    As usual...very nice imagery. (Report) Reply

  • Khairul Ahsan (12/25/2015 9:50:00 AM)

    The first four lines are captivating. The poem overall is very nice. (Report) Reply

  • Kim Barney (12/13/2015 5:53:00 PM)

    Golden poem about a golden fragrance. I like it. (Report) Reply

  • Anita Sharma (9/21/2015 11:27:00 AM)

    well written poem..nice imagery.liked much (Report) Reply

  • (9/1/2015 6:11:00 PM)

    Beautiful imagery, an essence of mystery surrounding this poem, exuding wonder at it's meaning. An effervescent image of the past, coming out from the darkness. Excellent poem! Enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing it. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

  • Perry Biggerstaff (5/12/2015 6:17:00 PM)

    Ok...not sure how I missed this. Great imagery...great flow! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Kim Barney (2/10/2015 7:32:00 AM)

    Lovely poem.
    Are you not writing anymore? This is your newest poem, and it's from last August. Please come back and write some more!
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (12/17/2014 11:28:00 PM)

    nere [with no apostrophe]

    from the GNU version of the Collaborative International Dictionary of English

    Were not.

    from The Century Dictionary and Cyclopedia

    A Middle English form of near.
    An obsolete contracted form of never.
    n. A Middle English form of neer.
    n. A Middle English contraction of ne were, were not.
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    Her tawny hand grasped

    The round amber bottle

    And bowing her head [............without a comma between bowing and her, OR changing some words, it almost sounds like the tawny hand was doing the inhaling.]

    Inhaled the mixture
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    do you find all of your fragrances on brambled banks (a nice alliteration) ?
    - - - - - - - -
    banks/lake; mixture/elixir; heart/part............... your rhyming got better as you went along. :)
    - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    i think i would rearrange the last stanza a bit, and i would always use punctuation, but i DO like the poem.
    thanks for sharing. bri :)

    add enough chocolate and i might go for it!
    (Report) Reply

  • Marcus Mckinley (10/23/2014 9:45:00 AM)

    a well painted word image. nicely done (Report) Reply

  • Savita Tyagi (9/2/2014 9:21:00 AM)

    Lovely poem. enjoyed reading it. (Report) Reply

Read all 11 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 7, 2014

Poem Edited: Monday, December 22, 2014

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