The Pebble (Boink) .....[nature; Short; Humor; Birds] Poem by Bri Edwards
The Pebble (Boink) .....[nature; Short; Humor; Birds]
For ten thousand years, on a lofty mountain ledge, the shiny pebble sat,
until this afternoon when a brazen raven.....dropped it squarely on my hat.
I guess I had it coming, as I planned to steal chicks from her nest.
Soooo...I decided I'd give up for now, ... and hike back home to rest.
But, as I turned to walk away,
I turned to Raven and this did say:
“Raven I respect your concern,
but I had come ….. to ONLY learn.
I work for the university, and …
I’m writing about bird diversity.”
“So what? ”, croaked back the raven.
“This rocky outcrop is a our haven.
Go pedal your wares somewhere else,
or I’ll eat you up, as if you're a mouse! ”
Then the raven picked up another stone,
and prepared for it to be [at me] thrown.
“OK! I’m going, Raven, but may I say,
I’d like to talk to you again someday.
Perhaps when you’re not so busy with chicks?
You could tell me how to make a nest of sticks! ”
The raven’s feathers then got VERY ruffled.
What she said next [to me? ] was too muffled …
(by gusty winds) ….. for me to hear WELL, but…
I think she croaked VERY loudly: “GO TO HELL! ”
NOW, ....although I've forgiven the offending bird....[who's croaking now with glee],
I'll tweak her beak unmercifully.....if she drops, again, a stone on me!
So I thought a bit, and sure enough it did! I added the second stanza. I also added (Boink) to title. And tonight I changed 'bold' to 'brazen' and made some other minor changes. This is not the first time editing, sometimes long after the original writing, has 'improved' my poetry.
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and NOW [May 2015] years(?) after its debut, my poem has been read by PH's Stephen Katona, who thinks it could stand to have some 'dialogue/dialog', between me and the raven! ! ! very well.
so, STEVE, insert this as a 2nd,3rd,4th, and 5th stanza, making this a SIX-stanza poem:
Then, as I turned to walk away,
I turned to Raven and this did say:
“Raven I respect your concern,
but I had come ….. to only learn.
I work for the university, and …
I’m writing about bird diversity.”
“So what? ”, croaked back the raven.
“This rocky outcrop is a raven haven.
Go pedal your wares somewhere else,
or I’ll eat you up, as if you are a mouse! ”
Then the raven picked up another stone,
and prepared for it to be [at me] thrown.
“OK! I’m going, Raven, but may I say,
I’d like to talk to you again someday.
Perhaps when you’re not busy with chicks?
You could tell me how you make a nest of sticks! ”
The raven’s feathers then got VERY ruffled.
What she said next [to me? ] was too muffled …
(by gusty winds) ….. for me to hear WELL, but…
I think she croaked VERY loudly: “Go to Hell! ”
[of course i edited the new stanzas before inserting them AND had to edit the last stanza a bit as well. thanks a bunch, Steve, for making me work so hard! ! ! :) :) bri ]
Nicely written Bri. I enjoyed it. I think we all edit our poems to a greater or lesser degree. I edited one of mine, years after I'd written it, as I'd never been totally happy with one particular line. Mad innit?
Another gem from the poetic wizard of wit. My only request would be to make it longer. I'd like to know more...was the intention to eat the chicks or give them a loving home? Perhaps you might return wearing a tin hat... Some dialogue between the two of you might be funny.
I have actually been writing a poem about a raven, but ---NO! Now I think I shall change it to a CROW!
TO MY POEMS READERS: Thanks for any comments left, but PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE TO MAKE ME AWARE OF YOUR INTEREST. OTHERWISE I MIGHT/MAY NEVER KNOW YOU HAVE VISITED. : ) BRI
At first I thought this stone was a precious diamond, but it turned out to be a rocket.5 ***** for this Poem.
Only if you are able to catch that Raven with your barren hands. I like this beautiful story in your poem, but where is the lesson? Bri : )
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/11/2024 8:53:33 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Amazing ability to do scenarios'' I thought I did these exclusively.. but to write them down .. hmmmmmmm. After one month on this site I am just now discovering things about seemingly innocent and sane people. Beautifully executed bit of work Bri (Bri? I know that guy)