Elena Sandu

A Dove And Crows - Poem by Elena Sandu

A Park

A dove came to sit
near to a lonely man.
He stops watching the lake
and talks to it
I cannot hear
what he says
But as he seems
to loose his smile,
the dove is chased away
by.. crows..
Moves next to a bench,
Where a young couple
have a small feast
Of course the dove
Gets to be fed a few crumbs
But crows come there too!
Like at a signal
Ground is filled with lots of crows now
And more to come! !
Young couple interrupt their eating
Bento goes back inside the bags
they stand ready to run away..
But crows insist! Start yelling:
One by one, taking turns:
-Craaawwww! ! ! ! Craaaawwww! ! Not fair! !
-Craaaww craaaw only two crumbs..-Pleaaase! !
-What's the criterion
of your food to share?
-The color of my feathers?
-What color I shall dye them, pink! ? !
-The sound of my voice?
-Should I be mute, you think?
-Size? ! ?
-Teach me! How can I shrink? !
-Is it my fault?
-That I'm not cute
-I can't enchant..
-Why? am I so unpleasant?
And then, in chorus:
-Why? ? ! ! ? ?
Being smart..
it does not count?

Without a word, couple gone
to answer questions, they did not mind
But.. By leaving in such a hurry
not noticed was, the onighiri left behind...

*Bento=Japanese fancy lunch box
*onighiri= rice ball

Topic(s) of this poem: discrimination

Comments about A Dove And Crows by Elena Sandu

  • (9/21/2016 6:25:00 AM)

    Hi Elena,

    A very intriguing poem, with images galore, readily communicating with the reader. Loved reading.

    A few Indian thoughts on the poem:

    1. giving a few crumbs/ a little food to the dove, while denying any to the crow, I take, as indicative of the Apartheid practice (keeping human beings separated/divided by the color of the skin) , which Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King fought against, in different parts of the globe, in different points in time. Even today, in some parts of India, people are held untouchable in the name of caste and creed and color of the skin.

    2) The reference to 'onighiri' (rice ball) : In India, as part of the remembrance of the dead, a ritual sraadhha is practiced every year on the anniversary of death, in which a ball of cooked rice is offered to the dead as part of the ritual. It is considered that the departed part-taken the offering, if crows consume the rice-ball. That much for the twin-image of rice ball and crows.

    A very intriguing poem.10
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  • Bri Edwards (2/6/2014 9:34:00 PM)

    Elena, i've read the poem and some of the comments. this is, for me, a FANTASTIC poem. and i'm not just saying that because i love birds, oppose discrimination, and have a japanese wife.

    i copied down some lines as i went though the poem and will now comment on them.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    But as he seem..............make it seems
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Gets to be fed few crumbs

    this is a very interesting line in that i would put an a in front of few in order to indicate that food was given. it is true that, as written, the reader will understand that some crumbs were gotten by the birds, BUT to me, without a, the emphasis is on the quantity of crumbs gotten (a very small number of crumbs) rather than the fact that any food at all was gotten.
    i'm not sure i can make the difference (to me at least) understood by you or non-native english writers. of course there may be plenty of native-english-speaking people like me who would not thank the a is an improvement.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Starts yelling: ................i would write Start, not Starts since there are more than one crow starting. of course (!) there are times in english when a group of things (more than one thing) will be treated like a singe thing in writing sentences about the group. e.g. a herd of cows is more than several cows in a group, so i could write the herd [of cows] starts to run away.
    a group of crows can be called a mob so i could write the mob starts.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Teach me! How can I shrink? ! .............i LAUGHED a little at this line.

    of course it was NOT a laughing matter for the crows. nor is it for a little girl who is not very (or at all) attractive and hears someone say of another little girl she is so beautiful! . will the not-so-attractive girl ask how can i be beautiful? ........... well, here come the plastic surgeons, if the girl can afford it in adulthood! : (
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Bento goes back inside the bags

    is there eastern european bento?
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    to answer questions they did not mind

    i wasn't sure if by they did not mind you meant the couple were not bothered by being asked the questions OR if you meant the couple did not heed/pay attention to the questions. my first impulse is to think of the first usage i mention, but there is the other way of using to mind.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    i hope the crows enjoyed the rice ball. a nice bit of humour/humor thrown in at the end. thanks. and there were a few rhymes as a bonus. did i tell you i thought the poem was fantastic; that's pretty darn good!

    thanks for sharing. now it is time for ME to get something to eat. bri :)
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/11/2012 4:16:00 AM)

    A thoughtful composition! I personally love crows! (Report) Reply

  • (10/9/2011 8:36:00 AM)

    A clever, thought provoking poem, that might make the racist among us look more closely at their values. (Report) Reply

  • (8/4/2011 10:15:00 AM)

    What a delightful picture you paint with words Elena, I love the imagery of the dove and the clever crow who is not pretty enough to enchant the couple but who is also worthy of the crumbs. Very pretty poem. Well done: -) x (Report) Reply

  • (3/10/2011 11:44:00 PM)

    Elena, you have it in you to become a good poet. This poem only goes to proove that. I will read more. good and nice writing. full 10 marks. (Report) Reply

  • Hans Vr (11/25/2010 6:10:00 AM)

    This is a wonderful philosophical piece. A real pleasure to read and making us think. Fantastic poetry (Report) Reply

  • Bert Bell (10/18/2010 5:18:00 AM)

    I found this to be an exeptionally good poem. It surprises me that you have doubt about your talent for poetry because this work is very good. Your ideas are good and you express them with lovely images and draw your readers into a remarkable visual experience that you've created with words. Very nice indeed. (Report) Reply

  • (9/12/2010 8:38:00 AM)

    This is Inokashira koen? ? haha - a wild guess!

    Great poem! ! !
    (Report) Reply

  • (9/5/2010 1:47:00 PM)

    wow, what a beautiful poem, it's amazing how you capture the reader n draw a picture yet full with meanings.. great job it is! . (Report) Reply

  • Dr.tony Brahmin (8/19/2010 6:43:00 AM)

    What’s the criterion
    of your food to share?
    -The color of my feathers?
    -What color I shall dye them, pink! ? !
    -The sound of my voice?
    -Should I be mute, you think?
    -Size? ! ?
    -Teach me! How can I shrink? !
    -Is it my fault?
    -That I'm not cute
    -I can't enchant..
    -Why? am I so unpleasant?
    And then, in chorus:
    -Why? ? ! ! ? ?

    What is the criterion! ! ! ! !
    A very big question you are asking here.. very well thought out . you write about the descriminators philosophy.. very very nice. i liked it very much. go on writing. you hve great talent..
    (Report) Reply

  • (8/7/2010 2:40:00 AM)

    meaningful...creative...talent remains unfed? ...10 (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Poem Edited: Saturday, July 1, 2017

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