Approaching Poem by Seamus O' Brian


Rating: 5.0

leaves tremble slightly
silence forewarns the power
hurricane's approach

white is the fury
when chariots of the sea
drive forth from the deep

his hammer the wind
the surging black waves his mount
thunder's doom his shout

unquenchable force
wind and sea unite in power
earth and man bow down

devastation resides
in tidal surging memory
chaos evacuates

Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: storm,weather
Harvey's waters are still draining, and the fiery Irma approaches.

First stanza is more traditional haiku. The remainder are more stylistic.
Sandra Feldman 05 September 2017

Not a very easy subject to describe in a poem. But you have done it so well! The images used while being of very high poetic quality are beautifully exact and perfect! The personification of the hurricane is these 3 lines is perfectly amazing: 'his hammer the wind the surging black waves his mount thunder's doom his shout.' A fantastic poem, on one of Nature's most destructive and scary happenings. Excellent reporting, sir!

0 0 Reply
Seamus O Brian 07 September 2017

Always a blessing to have you stop by, Sandra! Thank you for your always gracious and thoughtful comments. Have a wonderful day! :) S

0 0 Reply
Captain Cur 07 September 2017

An apt title for the incoming destruction powerfully expressed in this poem. The white fury, thunder's doom, the hammering wind, precisely timed for maximum effect, with the hurricane slowly moving through this poem with utter consequenece and total chaos.

0 0 Reply
Glen Kappy 09 September 2017

Hey, Neal! Of course we don't want to experience them ourselves or wish them on anyone else, but such events can cleanse us from the illusion of invulnerability and make us grateful for each day. May hope rise triumphant from the rubble and fortify us for patience and perseverance in the rebuilding. -Glen

0 0 Reply
Jette Blackstone 14 October 2017

Silence forewarns the power. It is an eerie silence and pulling back before the force hits...a hammer is an appropriate metaphor. In the case of Harvey, it was the rain that did the most damage. My sister and her family are still not back in their homes. Well written.

0 0 Reply
Kumarmani Mahakul 12 October 2017

Silence forewarns the power and hurricane's approach provokes thought entirely. Leaves slightly tremble. With unquenchable force wind and sea unite in power. A stormy weather is very amazingly expressed in this series of haiku poems. Brilliant perceptional skill is very well reflected here.10

0 0 Reply
Susan Williams 12 October 2017

your approach to this topic was exactly right- - the structure carried the forcefulness of a direct hit by a hurricane. Stunning stanza to begin this piece- - leaves tremble slightly silence forewarns the power hurricane's approach- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - then I believe you use the powerful symbol of the sea- Poseidon and his chariot driving the sea into a fury of annihilating waves- -could be God- - but the thing is the symbol is even more powerful than the blind force of nature when there is purpose behind the storm. 10+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

0 0 Reply
S.zaynab Kamoonpuri 21 September 2017

Wow so creatively dramatic on the flooding n stormy weather. Awesome metaphor ESP like the chariot line. It's really brilliant to read. Kudos for the great poetic effects. Pls do leave your thoughts comment about my latest prose too, titled, 'stand tall and proud yet humbly bow'

0 0 Reply
Annette Aitken 18 September 2017

Hi Seamus, your words are as powerful as the storm its self. I am glad I'm reading about it and not experiencing it. Nice work as usual. Annette.

0 0 Reply
Error Success