at the edge of the cliff,
she stood
determined…….
eyes limpid pools of sadness
hair wind swept
flawed….
damaged?
the swirling enormity below
inviting….!
nested in her own ignorance
never knowing there’s poison
in the sting of bees,
as dripping honey
in their combs.
in the heat waves of life
consumed without flame
yes, an escape ineluctable!
perhaps more to cover a secret…
SWISH….!
the water below parted noisily
sloshed up… but the tug was fierce.
down, down….
she slid,
into the silver chambers
to be garlanded by mermaids!
Stark reality of the terrible truth that is suicide, so beautifully written with understanding and compassion, the mermaids of the ocean comfort her in her final act!
It is quite tragic when people choose to end their life this way. Here, I am also reminded of my poem, ' Chasm.' I invite you to read it.
You have suicide enthralled by your word magic, although the theme is very tragic no doubt. People commit suicide to escape unhappy situations. They know for sure that it is not the end of life because the escapee has to survive somewhere to feel the relief of escape. A brilliant write - this time a little abstract which I loved (10) .
You clearly depicted the realities that are occurring in a beautiful poem. But no one committing suicide will be garlanded by mermaids. The one committing may think so. I hoped the poem would bring that reality to discourage suicides and give the victim an ability to fight injustice.
A very moving work, Valsa. When a life is taken to the brink, I cannot help but think the real crime is murder....those who pushed someone to the brink must surely not be absolved. A magnificent work, Valsa.
A deeply poignant and moving poem. The prevalence of suicidal cases on teen girls due to feeling of alienation must be given attention to prevent future cases. A meaningful poem beautifully crafted. The great images made this poem imprinted in the minds of a reader to depict this tragedy. Five Stars!
never knowing there’s poison in the sting of bees, as dripping honey in their combs. A warning for the young generation has been versified as a beautiful poem
sad! this happens. Love is blind. And the young innocent minds think that, that is the end of the world. Frustration, shame, loss, being alone - so many feelings to deal with. This is not easy for a young soul. Wish there were hands to help these young girls or if they had help at hand, a life would be saved. Meaning, factual poem.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A wonderful guide to innocent girls........................