Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 107,284 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Fun-Eral....... [my Funeral; Relatives; Life And Death; Fun] - Poem by Bri Edwards

Did you ever notice, in “funeral”, the much smaller word, Fun?
If there was a funeral for me, who would “from it” and who would “to it” run?
At 64 I’m overdue perhaps; why should I any longer stick around?
In our big paper dictionary, many as young or younger than I have died, I’ve found.

I’ve no wish for a funeral; burn me to ashes and be DONE!
But IF I had a funeral, I’d wish it were a bit of fun........
for me at least, and hopefully for all those who might come.
But it’s usual, I think, for funeral-attendees to seem a little glum.

If I knew I could NOT avoid..... a public showing in a casket,
I’d want a convex mirror mounted near my head, ... using tricks to mask it......
so I could see what was going on at my fun-final-farewell party, AND
to see who might show flowing tears, and who might show laughter, hearty.

Perhaps I’d see a sibling or two or three. I surely would hope not all four.
At least one (the oldest) , I think, would be practical and not attend; maybe more.
After all, why spend the money and time? They should all know me by now.
BUT I might understand, if they lived close by.....and if someone served free chow.

My ex-wives, if they had money, might show up well shoed and gloved,
and, if my wife saw my exes at my funeral, she’d be happy I’d been loved.
My stepdaughters might show up, thinking it the thing “to do”.
And if their mom outlived me, they’d be closer to the money too.

I’ve got some old friends who’d wish me well, but I doubt they’d make the trip.
One cousin might show up; she and I were once “glued-at-the-hip”.
My parents are long gone from this life; no funerals THEY had.
If I looked into my mirror and saw them not, I’d be neither glad nor sad.

My one and only child, if anyone, I'd hope to see in casket mirror.
I'd hope not to see her chuckling, but instead to see a tear.....
or two, but not many. She should know I’m satisfied to rest,
as I've taken my humanity course, and (I think) passed the test.

(February 2013)

Poet's Notes about The Poem

the stanza, starting 'My ex-wives', used to read something like this:

My ex-wives, if they had money, might show up to see if i was REALLY dead,
and if my current wife saw my exes at my funeral, she would hit ME in the head.

fortunately, or unfortunately, my 'current wife' glanced at the screen as i was letting her use HER computer for a few minutes. i was a bit surprised when i found that she had read the poem (or at least that stanza) AND she had changed the end of the second line to the way it now is in the finished poem. so i had to satisfy both of us by changing the story a bit and finding a word to rhyme with loved. which do my readers like more i wonder. i like both!

Comments about Fun-Eral....... [my Funeral; Relatives; Life And Death; Fun] by Bri Edwards

  • Bharati Nayak (10/2/2018 10:43:00 AM)

    If any body wants to read a funny poem on Funeral just visit Bri's poem.
    My sentiments are like that of Madam Valsa George.
    (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Muzahidul Reza (5/4/2018 4:00:00 PM)

    the poet's note is very interesting that you both like reading, ...........
    and your imagination / visualization abuot your funeral is stern like but touching / soft from an emotional but experienced poet, ...... this is a touching writing / piece, .........
    (Report) Reply

  • Perdita Young (4/15/2018 8:09:00 AM)

    If I knew I could NOT avoid..... a public showing in a casket,
    I’d want a convex mirror mounted near my head, ... using tricks to mask it......
    so I could see what was going on at my fun-final-farewell party, AND
    to see who might show flowing tears, and who might show laughter, hearty.
    Great, humorous poem about the last ceremony of a mortal life... So the word Funeral can be redefined as fun+eral? that does throw a new light.10++++++ Perdita.
    (Report) Reply

  • Kevin Patrick (2/1/2018 4:38:00 PM)

    If your worried about attendance, make a formal contract in which members at obliged to attend the service, then they can participate in a bingo tournament in which the prize is your will, and then when they win, they get a piece of paper with the name Will in your hand writing. I'm sure you will be remembered for a long time after that. (Report) Reply

  • Kevin Patrick (2/1/2018 4:11:00 PM)

    Death can be a funny matter, especially if you have the right frame of mind, and hopefully still a good state of mind to get the joke. I knew from the title alone this was going to be memorable (memorial?) , and it greatly delivered in execution, which is hopefully how you wont go out. (Report) Reply

  • Ranjan Kumar Ghosh (1/5/2018 12:08:00 AM)

    But IF I had a funeral, I’d wish it were a bit of fun........
    for me at least, and hopefully for all thanks Sir I really enjoy your poem 10++++++++
    (Report) Reply

  • Dr Dillip K Swain (12/21/2017 6:35:00 AM)

    You want to see your fun-final-farewell party through a casket mirror and to keenly observe the proceedings of your funeral by delving bit by bit into the scenario, “who might show flowing tears, and who might show laughter”, Wonderful theme! Very neatly expressed………..and finally, fined tuned by your current wife! The poem implies that people like you and liked you! But it’s difficult to interpret what your spirit is going to do with the defaulters? ? (Will it appear in second part?) …………Liked! (Report) Reply

  • (8/22/2017 6:47:00 AM)

    To be able to find humour in one's death is quite a challenge! And not only have you done it, but done it with style and flare! And the humour totally cracked me up! The ex-wives stanza: 1st line of the original & 2nd line of the revised. Of course, the challenge would be to make them rhyme. I'll do that for you and present it at your funeral. I'm showing up because I want to see if you really have that convex mirror mounted near your head! (Report) Reply

  • Laurie Van Der Hart (7/17/2017 7:41:00 AM)

    I see you had a blast with this one, Bri. I think it was very big of your wife to intervene only in such a noble way. Yeah, I like her version better.
    Was at a cemetery this week with some tourist friends, showing them around Prague. Told them some funny stories about my graveyard faut-pas in the Czech Republic. In doing so, made another one because we all laughed and a young woman came over looking irate and told me that it was a cementery and we shouldn't be laughing.
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/1/2017 3:09:00 AM)

    a brilliant write of something one might try to avoid but Bri you have given it a try and my o my your humour shines through? ................... so now arise Sir Bri of well written! (Report) Reply

  • Stuart Munro (3/10/2017 3:53:00 AM)

    Bri, i really love this poem, , , great humour, , , , especially the ex wife part, I can relate to that lol
    Best regards stu
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (12/23/2016 10:20:00 PM)

    this poem eats poo poo! !

    don't worry. i'm not serious. i'm testing a theory on how to modify a poem comment once it has been left. if i don't succeed, your eyes will see my original comment.

    bri ;) i'm doing this for a PH friend who i think wants to modify a comment he left for someone.
    (Report) Reply

  • Loppo Louie (12/3/2016 12:43:00 PM)

    Fun eral.
    Sometimes it isn't fun
    for sure.
    (Report) Reply

  • Arfa Iman Kalera (2/26/2016 11:20:00 AM)

    great poem Mr Edwards, made me both happy & sad at same time great work 10++++++++++++++ (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (2/25/2016 10:34:00 PM)

    I’ve got some old friends who’d wish me well, but I doubt they’d make the trip........... I am sure you mean people like me! Yes, I may not show up as it is too far away........ but definitely i would shed a tear..... not just one but a trickle...........! ! . How I enjoyed your funeral.......! I doubt in case you see some ice cream vendor on the way, you might jump out of your coffin! Loved reading it! A 10 (Report) Reply

    Bri Edwards (3/4/2016 12:24:00 PM)

    dear Valsa,

    today you say trickle,
    tomorrow will it be 'flood'?
    i know you women are fickle,
    but please cry....more than a trickle!
    after all, bri edwards is NO common dud! !

    say, you've given me a wonderful idea, Valsa.
    when the medics arrive, and find i've no......'pulsa',
    they can cart me away, fill with chemicals my bloodstream,
    and, in my casket, mechanics can install a dispenser 4 ice cream! !

    bri :)

  • Kim Barney (2/15/2016 10:10:00 AM)

    Love it. I'm thinking of having my own funeral before I die so that I can hear all those nice things people will say about me. I've never heard a speaker trash the corpse, have you? Although in my case it could be different! (Report) Reply

  • Shahin Latif (12/1/2015 12:52:00 PM)

    Great narrated poem. i enjoyed it. So, take my heartiest thanks. Be well always. (Report) Reply

  • Ayman Parray (11/18/2015 2:51:00 PM)

    A great poem that i really loved made me happy and sad at the same time. This poem of yours makes me wonder about life and death. Makes me think a lot of what will be the day like when I have a funeral, or not have a funeral. There is nothing like dying in battle and Valkyries taking you to Valhalla thou. The changes that your wife made are much better than what you had written Bri. I know it is your poem and you are an honest man but I know that you can be harsh and downright brutal in the name of honesty. And my previous sentence is not about you as a poet necessarily but as a critic. This is a great poem and Thank You I Loved It. (Report) Reply

  • (7/20/2015 1:23:00 PM)

    This is great. This poem made me laugh...then think. Can't ask for anything more. There's something about it that reminds of both the Beatles and Barenaked Ladies....And for sure, the ex-wives line/stanza....The current version, as published, - that's the way to go.

    Awesome poem.
    (Report) Reply

  • Stephen Katona (5/17/2015 9:32:00 PM)

    I thought I'd re-visit this great poem. Bri has a gift to find humour in even the most serious of topics. Enjoyed it yet again, especially the 'free chow'. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, July 22, 2013

Poem Edited: Tuesday, July 23, 2013

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