Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 69,168 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Fun-Eral....... [my Funeral; Relatives; Life And Death; Fun] - Poem by Bri Edwards

Did you ever notice, in “funeral”, the much smaller word, Fun?
If there was a funeral for me, who would “from it” and who would “to it” run?
At 64 I’m overdue perhaps; why should I any longer stick around?
In our big paper dictionary, many as young or younger than I have died, I’ve found.

I’ve no wish for a funeral; burn me to ashes and be DONE!
But IF I had a funeral, I’d wish it were a bit of fun........
for me at least, and hopefully for all those who might come.
But it’s usual, I think, for funeral-attendees to seem a little glum.

If I knew I could NOT avoid..... a public showing in a casket,
I’d want a convex mirror mounted near my head, ... using tricks to mask it......
so I could see what was going on at my fun-final-farewell party, AND
to see who might show flowing tears, and who might show laughter, hearty.

Perhaps I’d see a sibling or two or three. I surely would hope not all four.
At least one (the oldest) , I think, would be practical and not attend; maybe more.
After all, why spend the money and time? They should all know me by now.
BUT I might understand, if they lived close by.....and if someone served free chow.

My ex-wives, if they had money, might show up well shoed and gloved,
and, if my wife saw my exes at my funeral, she’d be happy I’d been loved.
My stepdaughters might show up, thinking it the thing “to do”.
And if their mom outlived me, they’d be closer to the money too.

I’ve got some old friends who’d wish me well, but I doubt they’d make the trip.
One cousin might show up; she and I were once “glued-at-the-hip”.
My parents are long gone from this life; no funerals THEY had.
If I looked into my mirror and saw them not, I’d be neither glad nor sad.

My one and only child, if anyone, I'd hope to see in casket mirror.
I'd hope not to see her chuckling, but instead to see a tear.....
or two, but not many. She should know I’m satisfied to rest,
as I've taken my humanity course, and (I think) passed the test.

(February 2013)

Poet's Notes about The Poem

the stanza, starting 'My ex-wives', used to read something like this:

My ex-wives, if they had money, might show up to see if i was REALLY dead,
and if my current wife saw my exes at my funeral, she would hit ME in the head.

fortunately, or unfortunately, my 'current wife' glanced at the screen as i was letting her use HER computer for a few minutes. i was a bit surprised when i found that she had read the poem (or at least that stanza) AND she had changed the end of the second line to the way it now is in the finished poem. so i had to satisfy both of us by changing the story a bit and finding a word to rhyme with loved. which do my readers like more i wonder. i like both!

Comments about Fun-Eral....... [my Funeral; Relatives; Life And Death; Fun] by Bri Edwards

  • (8/22/2017 6:47:00 AM)

    To be able to find humour in one's death is quite a challenge! And not only have you done it, but done it with style and flare! And the humour totally cracked me up! The ex-wives stanza: 1st line of the original & 2nd line of the revised. Of course, the challenge would be to make them rhyme. I'll do that for you and present it at your funeral. I'm showing up because I want to see if you really have that convex mirror mounted near your head! (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • Laurie Van Der Hart (7/17/2017 7:41:00 AM)

    I see you had a blast with this one, Bri. I think it was very big of your wife to intervene only in such a noble way. Yeah, I like her version better.
    Was at a cemetery this week with some tourist friends, showing them around Prague. Told them some funny stories about my graveyard faut-pas in the Czech Republic. In doing so, made another one because we all laughed and a young woman came over looking irate and told me that it was a cementery and we shouldn't be laughing.
    (Report) Reply

  • Tom Allport (6/1/2017 3:09:00 AM)

    a brilliant write of something one might try to avoid but Bri you have given it a try and my o my your humour shines through? ................... so now arise Sir Bri of well written! (Report) Reply

  • Stuart Munro (3/10/2017 3:53:00 AM)

    Bri, i really love this poem, , , great humour, , , , especially the ex wife part, I can relate to that lol
    Best regards stu
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (12/23/2016 10:20:00 PM)

    this poem eats poo poo! !

    don't worry. i'm not serious. i'm testing a theory on how to modify a poem comment once it has been left. if i don't succeed, your eyes will see my original comment.

    bri ;) i'm doing this for a PH friend who i think wants to modify a comment he left for someone.
    (Report) Reply

  • Loppo Louie (12/3/2016 12:43:00 PM)

    Fun eral.
    Sometimes it isn't fun
    for sure.
    (Report) Reply

  • Arfa Iman Kalera (2/26/2016 11:20:00 AM)

    great poem Mr Edwards, made me both happy & sad at same time great work 10++++++++++++++ (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (2/25/2016 10:34:00 PM)

    I’ve got some old friends who’d wish me well, but I doubt they’d make the trip........... I am sure you mean people like me! Yes, I may not show up as it is too far away........ but definitely i would shed a tear..... not just one but a trickle...........! ! . How I enjoyed your funeral.......! I doubt in case you see some ice cream vendor on the way, you might jump out of your coffin! Loved reading it! A 10 (Report) Reply

    Bri Edwards Bri Edwards (3/4/2016 12:24:00 PM)

    dear Valsa,

    today you say trickle,
    tomorrow will it be 'flood'?
    i know you women are fickle,
    but please cry....more than a trickle!
    after all, bri edwards is NO common dud! !

    say, you've given me a wonderful idea, Valsa.
    when the medics arrive, and find i've no......'pulsa',
    they can cart me away, fill with chemicals my bloodstream,
    and, in my casket, mechanics can install a dispenser 4 ice cream! !

    bri :)

  • Kim Barney (2/15/2016 10:10:00 AM)

    Love it. I'm thinking of having my own funeral before I die so that I can hear all those nice things people will say about me. I've never heard a speaker trash the corpse, have you? Although in my case it could be different! (Report) Reply

  • Shahin Latif (12/1/2015 12:52:00 PM)

    Great narrated poem. i enjoyed it. So, take my heartiest thanks. Be well always. (Report) Reply

  • Ayman Parray (11/18/2015 2:51:00 PM)

    A great poem that i really loved made me happy and sad at the same time. This poem of yours makes me wonder about life and death. Makes me think a lot of what will be the day like when I have a funeral, or not have a funeral. There is nothing like dying in battle and Valkyries taking you to Valhalla thou. The changes that your wife made are much better than what you had written Bri. I know it is your poem and you are an honest man but I know that you can be harsh and downright brutal in the name of honesty. And my previous sentence is not about you as a poet necessarily but as a critic. This is a great poem and Thank You I Loved It. (Report) Reply

  • (7/20/2015 1:23:00 PM)

    This is great. This poem made me laugh...then think. Can't ask for anything more. There's something about it that reminds of both the Beatles and Barenaked Ladies....And for sure, the ex-wives line/stanza....The current version, as published, - that's the way to go.

    Awesome poem.
    (Report) Reply

  • Stephen Katona (5/17/2015 9:32:00 PM)

    I thought I'd re-visit this great poem. Bri has a gift to find humour in even the most serious of topics. Enjoyed it yet again, especially the 'free chow'. (Report) Reply

  • Stephen Katona (3/24/2015 8:00:00 PM)

    Bri, I'd definitely go to your funeral if it wasn't too far away and they read some of your funniest poems.
    Love the line:
    I’d want a convex mirror mounted near my head, ... using tricks to mask it......
    so I could see what was going on at my fun-final-farewell party
    (Report) Reply

  • Darlene Walsh (3/13/2015 7:27:00 AM)

    First, as my grandpa used to say 'age is just a number' so 64 can still be young (ofc at 20 I guess that's easy for me to say) .

    'But IF I had a funeral, I’d wish it were a bit of fun........
    for me at least'
    Funerals should be fun (well maybe not fun but certainly not terrible) , they are not usually for the dead, but for the living who are still around, and should not be for mourning the dead but to celebrate and remember the life that was shared with the dearly departed. However, it does sound like you plan to enjoy your own FUNeral.

    My favorite lines are
    'She should know I’m satisfied to rest,
    as I've taken my humanity course, and (I think) passed the test.'
    From what little I know about you, I think you passed the test.

    I also like both lines but
    'My ex-wives, if they had money, might show up to see if i was REALLY dead,
    and if my current wife saw my exes at my funeral, she would hit ME in the head.'
    is FUNier.

    Darla :)
    (Report) Reply

  • Noreen Carden (5/12/2014 6:44:00 AM)

    Hey Bri if all your PH friends came to your funeral we would talk about your funny poems and how you made us smile Nice poem I like it as usual you make us look at the funny side of life (Report) Reply

  • (8/27/2013 4:33:00 PM)

    The only fun funerals I know are the ones in Louisana where the music plays and procession of people are laughing and dancing away. I think that would be perfect for you Bri. But hey, a funeral is always fun and games until someone dies... Yup sorry I couldn't help but go there. Love your poem. Your poem was enjoyable and deep... about six feet deep, I'd say. (Report) Reply

  • Lyn Paul (7/31/2013 5:08:00 PM)

    Loved this write Bri particularly how you have shared your life with us all. I have attended many Funerals seeing beautiful celebrations with musicians, DVD presentations favourite collections and lots of laughter. It is so important that we do not fear death. It is peace (Report) Reply

  • Lyn Paul (7/30/2013 9:27:00 AM)

    Excellent Bri I like the original.thank you for the Eulogy. I am with you. I want my to have fun (Report) Reply

  • Ellias Anderson Jr. (7/27/2013 8:29:00 AM)

    well, i should say that funeral is the last party for all of us, saying goodbye to all the people who we love and care about. also they come to say goodbye to us. (but at that time we can't open our mouth and say anything.) in our funeral we should be glad and laughing due to our good past, (if we really had one) and the other will cry to lose a great human, (again if we were a good person) . i think it will be a nice funeral. and about the last line, it's just perfect Bri, i really love the ending. (kinda collaboration)
    and at last, we all are going to that party, and at that time, (also my soul) will remind this brilliant work. will whisper it under soil and get rest. thanks for this great and impressive write dear.
    Your loyal friend
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, July 22, 2013

Poem Edited: Tuesday, July 23, 2013

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