Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 68,517 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Get Up, But Don’t Bother Me...... [humor; Short Enough; Marriage; Fiction! ; Modeled On Lora Colon's 'similar' Poem] - Poem by Bri Edwards

If you awaken before me
And I'm crying in my sleep,
I must be dreaming of you,
You dirty rotten little creep.

If you awaken before me
And I’m smiling HAPPILY,
I’m planning our divorce,
Thinking how NICE it sure will be.

If you awaken before me
And I’m shivering ….”with cold”,
It’s NOT from the temperature,
But from the ‘bill of goods’ YOU sold….
ME!

If you awaken before me,
Don’t ever DARE get near.
Or I’ll blacken both your eyes;
For YOU I have ….not a speck of fear! !

If you awaken before me,
Just get yourself off the FLOOR.
And don’t DARE get in bed with me,
Or I’ll whack you like I’ve done before.

If you awaken before me,
Get busy; you know the drill.
Two eggs over easy on dry toast,
And don’t you DARE, MY coffee spill! !

(March 21, 2015)

Topic(s) of this poem: humor, humour


Poet's Notes about The Poem

OOPS! ! ! I HAVE GOTTEN ONE COMMENT FROM A reader (Amitava) in which he seems to think I (bri) am the one bossing my mate around. AND, having just read the poem to myself I CAN SEE WHY HE THOUGHT THAT! ! ! [after all, i am the writer. BUT THIS JUST GOES TO PROVE THAT LOOKS CAN BE VERY DECEIVING!) THE SEX OF THE SPEAKER AND PERSON SPOKEN TO ARE not mentioned in the poem! ! ! :) bri

BUT.............NO, NO, NO! THE WOMAN IS STAYING IN BED AND GIVING ME ORDERS, NOT the other way around. yikes! ! ! ! Just like HERE AT HOME! ! !

(sorry guys)

my poem, as serious as it is, is copied (but a bit different from) PH member Lora Colon's fantastic poem: 'If You Awaken Before Me'. check it out. i also recommend Valsa George's fine (but a little too serious for my taste; NOT!) poem: 'ON The Dentist's Chair'. why couldn't i have written them? !

maybe i'll write 'On The Urologist's Table'. any interest in THAT? bri :)

Comments about Get Up, But Don’t Bother Me...... [humor; Short Enough; Marriage; Fiction! ; Modeled On Lora Colon's 'similar' Poem] by Bri Edwards

  • Simone Inez Harriman (12/4/2016 5:34:00 PM)


    I'm so glad I read your commentary Bri and that you're not that sort of person. I did laugh when I realized I was also fooled into believing it to be about an abused woman when there are so many people out there of both sexes who live in such a scary despicable reality. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Valsa George (4/5/2015 5:09:00 AM)


    By chance, if I awaken before you
    Don't look for me anywhere else
    I'll be in the kitchen near the fridge
    Gobbling down ice cream, before it melts!
    (Report) Reply

  • (3/30/2015 7:58:00 PM)


    Oh my gosh! ! ! ! It's hilarious! ! ! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • (3/25/2015 12:10:00 PM)


    I've added this to my list of favorites. My favorite stanza is:

    If you awaken before me,
    Get busy; you know the drill.
    Two eggs over easy on dry toast,
    And don’t you DARE, MY coffee spill! !

    10+++
    (Report) Reply

  • Amitava Sur (3/24/2015 12:44:00 AM)


    Ha Ha it is easy and good to write, but just once you try to blacken those eyes and then God only may help you guy.
    She will definitely get busy in her drill, but not with
    Two eggs over easy on dry toast
    Rather -
    Two eggs will be thrown on your face and chest ! ! ! ! ....... Ha Ha thank you and love you
    (Report) Reply

  • S.zaynab Kamoonpuri (3/23/2015 2:53:00 AM)


    Woah sure not for the wife to read! Cruel humor but anyting goes for poetry., unless u have a mean wife.
    Made me giggle and guffaw gah!
    (Report) Reply

  • (3/22/2015 1:41:00 PM)


    Another enjoyable poem, Bri. Have you always been a comic? I bet you wouldn't dare show your wife this one, you'd probably end up with the black eyes. Women are reputed to be the stronger sex you know. I have a sign on my back door it reads..............
    I am master of this house, whatever my wife says must be done!
    (Report) Reply

  • (3/22/2015 1:38:00 PM)


    Another enjoyable poem, Bri. Have you always been a comic? I bet you wouldn't dare show your wife this one, you'd probably end up with the black eyes. Women are reputed to be the stronger sex you know. I have a sign on my back door it reads..............
    I am master of this house,
    Whatever my wife says must be d
    (Report) Reply

  • (3/22/2015 1:35:00 PM)


    Another enjoyable poem, Bri. Have you always been a comic? I bet you wouldn't dare show your wife this one, you'd probably end up with the black eyes. Women are reputed to be the stronger sex you know. I have a sign on my back door it reads.............. I am master of this house,
    Whatever my says must be done!
    (Report) Reply

  • Kumarmani Mahakul (3/21/2015 7:49:00 PM)


    I am crying in my sleep I must be dreaming of you. Very beautifully presented poem with nice imagery within is drafted really. Nice one.10. (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags


Poem Submitted: Saturday, March 21, 2015

Poem Edited: Wednesday, April 1, 2015


[Report Error]