Michael Shepherd

Rookie (8.4.1929 / Marton, Lancashire)

! God! You'Re Like, Sooo Banal... - Poem by Michael Shepherd

Imagine - if you'll
pardon that phrase addressed
to poets, of all people -

imagine, if we judged peoples' lives
like we do their poems...

your parents separate when you're just seven?
oh that's such a contrived, unoriginal theme...
it's been done, and better...

you've fallen in love for the first time?
that's so banal, so cliched; can you imagine
anyone wants to share that?

you've been dumped for
the first time in your life by
the one you've given your life to?
that's pathetic - can't you think
of something more.. creative?

your family washed away in the tsunami?
oh puh-lease - that's so -
so - Hollywood - what do you want
to be remembered for - Special Effects?

you're disabled? Can't you think
of something more - personal?
we've all been there one way
or the other, do you have
anything new to contribute?

you love your family? so what?
life isn't a Hallmark card


reviewing your life,
I find it trite, banal, cliche-ridden,
unreflected on, randomly commenced,
shapeless, lacking in clear theme
or sense of direction, unedited,
unrevised, poorly punctuated, lacking in any
metaphorical significance, veering uncertainly
between real, surreal, and fantasy
and lacking music, that's either
melody or harmony or
rhythm with 'em, and
far, far too much repetition and
and if you think you're aiming at
poetic tragi-comedy I can tell you it
reads more like farcical melodrama
and in all honesty
I couldn't recommend it for general release
even in a niche market, I mean, who'd
want to buy it even in paperback? and
I had hoped in my patronising way that
you could have done better
(though secretly pleased that
you haven't) - for God's sake, couldn't you
have left us something to remember
better than this? Just, done better...?

No, me neither

(dedicated to all those who've got the Tshirt...)

Comments about ! God! You'Re Like, Sooo Banal... by Michael Shepherd

  • (12/10/2005 6:01:00 PM)

    Thanks, Rusty, for pointing out 'oeuvre'. I've changed it to make it clearer. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • (12/9/2005 11:13:00 AM)

    There are some people that critique your life like they would a poem. It's called a mother-in-law. I would critique this work but I had to look up oeuvre in the dictionary. I always called it my stuff. As always Michael, well written and profound.
    (Report) Reply

  • (12/9/2005 9:03:00 AM)

    I laughed all the way through this one, Michael...and roared at the dedication. Well, the title was a hoot also. You've made a very important point in all that humor...and I'm putting this one in my favorites. Thanks for your wisdom with a smile.

    (Report) Reply

  • (12/9/2005 8:14:00 AM)

    Subtle as a sledgehammer wrapped in a Christmas stocking. Humbled and amused, I am. (Report) Reply

  • (12/9/2005 8:07:00 AM)

    great poem: so angry and so true...i like that!

    (Report) Reply

  • (12/9/2005 8:07:00 AM)

    Bonjour Michael,

    I guess you got fed up with that type of critic (as I also have in one of my pieces of last year)
    But I find your approach very refreshing - using to good effect your brand of humor to the fullest.
    This one goes into my faves for this year...Definitivement.

    Amicalement votre,
    (Report) Reply

  • Cj Heck (12/9/2005 7:58:00 AM)

    Excellent poem! I do love how your mind works, Michael. Thank God, our lives aren't commented on by others. We should all be sure the brain is in gear before putting our fingers in motion (on the keyboard) .

    Super thoughts. Super poem.
    (Report) Reply

  • (12/9/2005 7:17:00 AM)

    what can be said
    when all has been said
    and the pen is dry
    a need never dies
    and must be answered
    the barren time goes on and on
    until a poem
    brushes the air
    and that blast
    is felt deep in the heart's core
    a really fine poem
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 9, 2005

Poem Edited: Friday, October 5, 2007

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