Tan Pratonix

Bronze Star - 2,607 Points (Triolet, Mauritius)

Happiness - Poem by Tan Pratonix

Just those few months of sunshine
Squeezed in by a protracted winter
And a long chilly spring

Childhood memories of
Playing on a old garden swing,
Flying a red paper kite
Pulling at a (heart) string

Walking through the woods
And (all of a sudden)
Tall pink lilies, and lime butterflies
Fluttering, dancing

Happiness is the memory
Of a calm tropical bay
Washing over bare feet,
Salty foam caressing

Radiant smile, gentle touch
The two-year-old who holds you tight:
And just as daylight dims,
Fields of stars in the Milky Way
Brightening up a dark night

Topic(s) of this poem: happiness


Poet's Notes about The Poem

Written for a contest,15 Sep 2015

Comments about Happiness by Tan Pratonix

  • Paul Amrod (9/23/2015 2:54:00 PM)


    Hi Tan A very imaginitiveness sequence of images that are all very pleasant and peacfully spiritual, Thank you, Paul (Report) Reply

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  • Bill Galvin (9/21/2015 11:14:00 PM)


    I like your style of including observations of our natural surroundings; very nicely done.10. (Report) Reply

  • Howard 'the motivational poet' Simon (9/21/2015 3:00:00 PM)


    A positive powerful poem my friend! (Report) Reply

  • Hazel Durham (9/21/2015 2:48:00 AM)


    I love this stunning write that has such beautiful imagery of your childhood days that flutter in your mind like an eternal butterfly! (Report) Reply

  • Pamela Sinicrope (9/19/2015 10:13:00 AM)


    I like this deep poem about childhood... The first three lines made me feel like you were describing Minnesota... But then I saw it as a metaphor for childhood itself. The scenes you chose to depict childhood wonder and discovery are truly poignant: swings and kites, walking through the woods, the ocean, family love... And the line, Pulling at at (heart) string is perfect! Well done. Good luck on the contest. (Report) Reply

  • Ernestine Northover (9/18/2015 1:29:00 PM)


    A delight to read and so beautifully written. I was there with the butterflies and flowers and it was a very powerful scene you had depicted. Liked this a lot. Memories give a lift to the heart. (Report) Reply

  • Ernestine Northover (9/18/2015 1:26:00 PM)


    A delight to read Tan and such a beautifully constructed piece. I was there with the flowers and the butterflies a scene depicted with such power. Very well done. Memories can be so lifting to the heart. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (9/18/2015 1:32:00 AM)


    Childhood memories are etched deep in the mind! Often they jostle up to come to the surface and we derive happiness! There are so many other beautiful scenes of Nature that also make us happy like 'fields of stars in the Milky way'! A sweet poem! (I couldn't find your poem David and Goliath!) (Report) Reply

  • (9/18/2015 1:03:00 AM)


    Great memories filled with genuine imagery of childhood! You have painted a beautiful landscape within my mind, as I sit in an old garden swing reminiscing of yesterday and doing the same thing! Thank you for such a wonderful view of your life when younger. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/17/2015 11:20:00 AM)


    a string of nice memories.. a kite.. the bay.. and then the toddler and the ''Fields of stars in the Milky Way''.. a truly nice picture..
    but why those words in round-brackets? ''a (heart) string'' - '' (all of a sudden) ''
    no need of brackets, Tan..
    Cheers
    (Report) Reply

  • David Wood (9/17/2015 4:54:00 AM)


    A vivid picture is in my mind od an old garden swing. Lovely poem. (Report) Reply

  • Roop Rekha Bhaskar (9/17/2015 12:28:00 AM)


    First it was mangoes now its is happiness thru nature. Loved to read this one too. (Report) Reply

  • Paul Warren (9/16/2015 4:08:00 PM)


    Nice word picture - thank you for sharing (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, September 15, 2015



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