My Scattered Thoughts I Poem by Shahzia Batool

Your scattered thoughts make a profound eulogy for the living. A deep and remarkable piece of writing with buried truths and haunting allegory.

Be what you are dear Shahzia. you are an inspiration. I loved this piece. You have poured out your feelings through this and every line of it is so powerful that it brought all your qualities right in front of my eyes. Fantastically done dear. Lines 17,18 and 19 are amazing.

An Amazing, insightful poem Shahzia, this poem must eel what every thinking human being on this plant must feel, think all the time. Maybe as we are just about to be interned we will know our own inscription for our tombstone.

a very poignant poem, , just wish and pray this poem to be never autobiographical. but yes, the plethora of question, self-doubts, dilemmas, are quite human, there is intense pessimism in teh closing lines of teh poem, there is a sense of resignation, and why? ? the last line ' long before....' is so pregnant with philosophical overtone, the reader is left brooding on the mysteries of life as he takes a long pause on the last line, , thanx, , , the poetess has collected the scattered thoughts to compose a whole and complete body of a beautiful poem, [ i know i can never match the critical and creative faculties of Shahzia, who fathoms into the soul of the poems she reads and comments, she has such a huge range of study and understanding, her comments are many a times more beautiful and enlightening than the poems she picks up to read and encourage the poets here in poem hunter, ]

simply amazing....... catching the essence of lost identity........

6 years on and re-read your poem and just as powerful as the first.

long before i have left the deception of knowing myself. Wonderful. knowing oneself. most difficult assignment in the world of demands and hopes. ''jis ny apny nafs ko pehchana, os ny apny Rab ko pehchan''. I think, it is me i cant trust. It is me i am deceiving. It is me i am fed up. It is me the hidden enemy. Very sad, very real, very beautiful.

Shahzia, i especially liked (at least partially agreed with) the comments by Don Ketchy and Unwritten Soul. and Robert Green wrote: An Amazing, insightful poem Shahzia, this poem must eel(sic) what every thinking human being on this plant(sic) must feel, think all the time. Maybe as we are just about to be interned*** we will know our own inscription for our tombstone. i don't feel the feeling portrayed in this poem all the time, and probably feel it rarely, if at all. i consider myself lucky in this respect. others may think me weird (and a few have called me that!) . as for my tombstone...........it is a nice idea, if we weren't running out of space and resources to indulge in the luxuries of burial and tombstones. yes, cemeteries are peaceful and a good place to go birdwatching at times, but i may rather want my body left out for vultures to dispose of as i've heard has been done in some societies. we DO have vultures here in california. hmmmmmmmm? thanks for sharing. well-written. bri ***rather than interned, i believe R. Green meant interred (i didn't catch that at first reading....and i also misspelled weird the first time. even we great poets are fallible. and i misspelled fallable(sic) the first time.) ha! in·ter in't?r/ verb past tense: interred; past participle: interred 1. place (a corpse) in a grave or tomb, typically with funeral rites. he was interred with the military honors due to him p.s. Am I wrong if I wish to be liked for what I am, And not for what you like me to be? .........NO! But i think you are wrong/foolish if you EXPECT TO BE or INSIST UPON BEING liked for what you are rather than for what others like you to be. AND: Long before I've left the deception of knowing myself! ! ! ..........i can't be sure what is meant by this line. written as it is, it seems to be the end of a sentence or the beginning of a sentence, and NOT a complete thought. BUT if you put a comma after Long before......then you make it into a sentence which to me means that long ago/a long time ago you gave up the deception of feeling you knew yourself. :)

we are all different but in so many ways we are all the same Shahzia this is beauitfullwritten with a lot of insight and emotion

Very deep poem dear Shahzia! You amaze me with the simplicity with which you write... yet, your thoughts are full of insight and truthfulness. And I do agree with Walterran Sally when she says that each of us can find a piece of self amongst your lines. Thank you for describing them so nakedly truthful. Best wishes, ~Besa