I was at the lumberyard last Tuesday and I bought a
piece of cedar board that has this kind of Jesus-like
image in the grain. I think with a little creative use of
wood stain and varnish I can make it look even more
like Jesus. Now, here’s my plan. I’ll start telling
people that it’s like a miracle visitation kind of deal
and I’ll act all amazed and glowing and everything.
I’m sure some suckers will want to come see it and
they’ll bring flowers and offerings and stuff. Interest
will increase even more if I can get the local TV news
to cover it. See, I figure I can charge folks five bucks
each to see that dopey board. Do you think that’s
charging too much? I know, I know, you’re going to
lecture me that it’s wrong to do this. But look at it
this way. If people come and see my little phony
wood grain Jesus, they may have a real religious
experience. They’ll probably dropp to their knees and
writhe around on the ground and do all sorts of wacky
things, and it will deepen their faith. That’s a good
thing, wouldn’t you agree? And five bucks is a small
price to pay for a religious experience that makes you
feel closer to God. Maybe I should charge ten bucks.
Twenty if they want to touch it.
Be careful if they touch it! You might form some splinter religious group. -chuck
I don't know Prof. I read that title and was a little worried about you. A Woody? Well anyway I got to thinking about a couple of more uses for your plank. You could shape it into a paddle and let all the 'spare the rod and spoil the child' zealots use it to beat some kindness into their children. Or. You could make golf tees out of it. You can imagine what an irate golfer could say after he knocked his drive in the water. 'Jesus, did you see that'? I guess in Jesus' present state it would be a rhetorical question. And think what Jesus stakes would do to a vampire. Don't have any more suggestions but I do think you should have a slogan for selling the board. 'Jesus on a board. Believe it or knot'
Prof, Hilarious...and wise. People are hungry for God and have few places to find Him, as He does not reside in most churches.: 0) Ray
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
OH MY GOD! ! i am dying over here. this must be your best work yet, PoHo. a Masrterpiece. you've got some great ideas. ever think about starting a cult? Jake