Tomorrow Poem by Scarlett Treat

Tomorrow

Rating: 2.6


Tomorrow
The sun
Will burn away
The mist
And stream downward
Through your window
And waken you to emptiness
For I'll be gone.
You won't even miss me.

We were happy here
In the darkness.
We used it
As a blanket
To wrap around us,
To cover us
From the sight
Of our souls,
But with the sun,
I'll be gone.
You won't even miss me.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Allan James Saywell 23 May 2006

a very good write said with very few words excellent in mine eyes my scarlet damsel Warm regards AJS

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Joseph Daly 24 May 2006

A wonderful piece Scarlett. Deeply personal and yet the imagry screams out a soprt of universalism that speaks to us all - if not philisophically then spiritually. The feeling of loss and gain; occuring at one and the same time is what gives this work its punch.

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Ernestine Northover 24 May 2006

You won't Scarlett, for tomorrow never comes. Another pleasurable read, nicely constructed. soulful too. Love Ernestine XXX

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Esther Leclerc 27 May 2006

This poem speaks volumes. I do think that the last stanza could easily stand on its own. You are going from strength to strength, Scarlett. Grow on! Love, Esther

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IMAGED PASSIONATE SORROW...TIS A SAD FATE FOR THE HEART....WELL DONE, SCARLETT! ...'''''''''''''''FRANK

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Daniel Tyler 04 January 2007

This shows real craft, Scarlett. The structure is excellent, juxtaposing light against darkness but not in that boring, conventional way. instead you invert them- light isn't all it is cracked up to be, you long for the darkness. We were happy here In the darkness. We used it As a blanket To wrap around us, To cover us From the sight Of our souls, But with the sun, I'll be gone. Darkness enables us to hide, to love, to get away from who we are. The sun is harsh, it exposes those things, burns them way. That line 'But with the sun I'll be gone' is magnificent- I hear sirens there- the sounds of summer. But you don't celebrate being gone, you resent it. Such a clever and thought provoking peice- the metre is spot on and the phrasing precise and considered. Wonderful.

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Gregory Gunn 15 July 2006

Ah yes, the ole underappreciation factor rears its ugly countenance once again...go figure? That deadbeat will likely never see the light of day, I'm afraid, so you are quite right in buggering off, Linda.; -)

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A SENSE OF TIRED LAMENT HERE, BUT NOT NECESARILLY ON YOUR END, DEAR SCARLETT...I LIKE THIS PIECE A LOT..IT DRIPS OF AN AMORPHOUS EXPRESSION, YET IT MAKES A VERY PRONOUNCED STATEMENT...A TAD TO THE ABSTRACT, SO PERHAPS THATS WHY I AM IMMEDIATELY DRAWN TO IT....GREAT WRITE, SCARLETTT...NOW, ENOUGH OF THE NICEITIES...WHERES THE NEW STUFF! ? LETS GET A MOVE ON...IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME FLAPPIN' ON THE FORUM ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT GOOD LIT., YOU'D HAVE TIME TO REFILL OUR EMPTY TREAT FUNNELS OF POETIC FRUITS! LOL...THOUGHT ID STOP OFF AND SAY HELLO...HELLO! FRANK/FJR

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Alison Cassidy 18 June 2006

I detect a familiar pattern here. One of regret and melancholy. I like the pattern of the poem and the metaphor of the mist that hides the soul. Warmly, Alison

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Sometimes I look out for a piece that expresses how I feel at that moment. For times past, this is sure one. And it's fabulous.

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Scarlett Treat

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