Scarlett Treat

Rookie - 39 Points (1941 / Jug Fork, Mississippi)

Tomorrow - Poem by Scarlett Treat

Tomorrow
The sun
Will burn away
The mist
And stream downward
Through your window
And waken you to emptiness
For I'll be gone.
You won't even miss me.

We were happy here
In the darkness.
We used it
As a blanket
To wrap around us,
To cover us
From the sight
Of our souls,
But with the sun,
I'll be gone.
You won't even miss me.


Comments about Tomorrow by Scarlett Treat

  • (1/4/2007 3:10:00 PM)


    This shows real craft, Scarlett. The structure is excellent, juxtaposing light against darkness but not in that boring, conventional way. instead you invert them- light isn't all it is cracked up to be, you long for the darkness.

    We were happy here
    In the darkness.
    We used it
    As a blanket
    To wrap around us,
    To cover us
    From the sight
    Of our souls,
    But with the sun,
    I'll be gone.

    Darkness enables us to hide, to love, to get away from who we are. The sun is harsh, it exposes those things, burns them way. That line 'But with the sun I'll be gone' is magnificent- I hear sirens there- the sounds of summer. But you don't celebrate being gone, you resent it. Such a clever and thought provoking peice- the metre is spot on and the phrasing precise and considered. Wonderful.
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  • (7/15/2006 4:15:00 AM)


    Ah yes, the ole underappreciation factor rears its ugly countenance once again...go figure? That deadbeat will likely never see the light of day, I'm afraid, so you are quite right in buggering off, Linda.; -) (Report) Reply

  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (7/10/2006 10:30:00 PM)


    A SENSE OF TIRED LAMENT HERE, BUT NOT NECESARILLY ON YOUR END, DEAR SCARLETT...I LIKE THIS PIECE A LOT..IT DRIPS OF AN AMORPHOUS EXPRESSION, YET IT MAKES A VERY PRONOUNCED
    STATEMENT...A TAD TO THE ABSTRACT, SO PERHAPS THATS WHY I AM IMMEDIATELY DRAWN TO IT....GREAT WRITE, SCARLETTT...NOW, ENOUGH OF THE NICEITIES...WHERES THE NEW STUFF! ? LETS GET A MOVE ON...IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME FLAPPIN' ON THE FORUM ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT GOOD LIT., YOU'D HAVE TIME TO REFILL OUR EMPTY TREAT FUNNELS OF POETIC FRUITS! LOL...THOUGHT ID STOP OFF AND SAY HELLO...HELLO!
    FRANK/FJR
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/18/2006 3:05:00 AM)


    I detect a familiar pattern here. One of regret and melancholy. I like the pattern of the poem and the metaphor of the mist that hides the soul. Warmly, Alison (Report) Reply

  • (6/9/2006 12:57:00 PM)


    Sometimes I look out for a piece that expresses how I feel at that moment. For times past, this is sure one. And it's fabulous. (Report) Reply

  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (5/29/2006 1:57:00 PM)


    IMAGED PASSIONATE SORROW...TIS A SAD FATE FOR THE HEART....WELL DONE, SCARLETT! ...'''''''''''''''FRANK (Report) Reply

  • (5/27/2006 1:55:00 PM)


    This poem speaks volumes. I do think that the last stanza could easily stand on its own. You are going from strength to strength, Scarlett. Grow on! Love, Esther (Report) Reply

  • Ernestine Northover (5/24/2006 9:13:00 AM)


    You won't Scarlett, for tomorrow never comes. Another pleasurable read, nicely constructed. soulful too. Love Ernestine XXX (Report) Reply

  • (5/24/2006 8:32:00 AM)


    A wonderful piece Scarlett. Deeply personal and yet the imagry screams out a soprt of universalism that speaks to us all - if not philisophically then spiritually. The feeling of loss and gain; occuring at one and the same time is what gives this work its punch. (Report) Reply

  • (5/23/2006 7:02:00 PM)


    a very good write said with very few words excellent in mine eyes my scarlet damsel

    Warm regards AJS
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, May 23, 2006



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