Who Am I Poem by Ashley Ormon

Who Am I

Rating: 4.1


Coffee stains my face,
And the rain pours from my eyes,
I call out into the country,
“Who am I? ”
But the birds echo my voice as they fly on.

Like the breath of the rushing rivers
My heart pounds, then beats slowly-
I hear it and it echoes to the nation,
“Who am I? ”
But the land progresses without ceasing.

So I run to the tallest hill,
Upon the highest mountain,
I cry out loudly to the moon and the stars-
To sun that shines among the heavens,
“Who am I? ”
Yet nature continues persistently.

The air within my lungs,
The pounding of my heart,
The rain from my eyes
All ask “Who am I? ”
But the earth continues to live-
And so I move on.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Michael Shepherd 04 April 2009

Nice work - you have potential indeed. I'd favour leaving off the last line of the last stanza - less is more.

1 0 Reply
Scarlett Treat 04 April 2009

A basic question, common to us all. I think I would leave out so many Ands..a habit that I am trying hard to break myself. A period at the end of the line before would serve the same purpose, giving the work less of a 'run-on' feeling. The poem itself, however, is very well done!

1 0 Reply
Jerry Abrahamson 04 April 2009

Good job Keep going You're doing good

1 0 Reply
Sandy Vanity 04 April 2009

thats a question we all ask at one point its a matter of answering it yourself thats kinda th tricky part but great poem

0 0 Reply
Greenwolfe 1962 03 April 2009

This was a delightful and joyous thing to read. It was very clear and understandable. Just the kind of writing that attracts the readers. The basic question has been asked by every human who ever walked the earth. And the earth, as you stated, moves on. Just as you must do. The right answer. Bravo! Perfect title, perfect ending. GW62

0 0 Reply
*Trusting You* 13 June 2009

this is Amazing... very very good job. outstanding work done here. ~MC~

1 0 Reply
PERSIAN NIGHTINGALE 08 April 2009

a thoughtful piece, thanks for sharing 10

1 0 Reply
Luwi Habte 06 April 2009

great work ashley. nice idea and that is sweet at all.

1 0 Reply
Harish K. Thakur 06 April 2009

A nice piece with nature element and the all times existetialist question. great. Needs some conscious word selection too

1 0 Reply
Keith Hendrickson 05 April 2009

a great piece. very thoughtful and deep. keep up the great work

1 0 Reply
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