Wives Bri Has Known..[ Looking Back; Some Fun, Some Fury; Partially True & All Personal; Long; Do N-O-T Read The Personal Parts! ] Poem by Bri Edwards

My First Wife

My life with (female)spouses [with my present wife ……excluded], …..
will now be presented TO you [some LIES will be ……included].
My first was named Patti; at least her name began …with "P".
She was a castoff from a college friend; she was ….'cast off' to ME.

So she came to me with "baggage", and …some anxieTY.
We were friends, & no kids, with her, were wished by ….ME.
I was a delivery truck driver; her job was family-planning.
Then I became a postal worker, to pay for her body-tanning!

Fast-forward to 1981, our daughter [well-planned] was born.
For six months I bathed "S" in kitchen sink; "P" was torn....
...[with the thought she'd drop our slippery baby to the floor], ….
SO ….I got that job, and also the job of picking up our dog's...
poop.
[I think I used my hand in a plastic bag, not using a ‘poop-
scoop'.]

So, ONE baby satisfied "P" ‘s need to be a woman-"COMPLETE".
Besides, the pain of childbirth, "P" wished NOT to repeat!

I worked nights or evenings to earn my family's "bread",
and soon we moved from a ‘starter house' …..to a ‘fixer-upper'
……instead.
I feel that I TRIED my best to be a good (enough)spouse,
but, if you'd heard "P" speak, you'd think I, Bri, was a …..‘louse'**!

**[louse: "(colloquial, dated, not usually used in plural form)
A contemptible person; one who is deceitful or causes harm "]HA! ! ! : (

Things cooled between "P" and Bri, to the point we no longer needed....
a refrigerator.
Afternine years I ‘gave up' and moved out, and over my shoulder I.....
called "See you later."



Wife-The-Second

"D", my only wife who'd never been married before,
was ‘independent' and cheery, and soon, "D", I did …..adore.
This time I gained no ‘in-laws', but a house, and cats/two.
She was a Kodak secretary.I started a day job, the thing ….
.....to DO (I thought) .

I was still with the U.S. Postal Service. We each had a car.
"D" was a collector and she went "overboard", yes, "TOO far" ….
collecting dolls and stuffed animals, ....and crystals to boot.
Only problem, besides "space", was she used some "LOOT", …..
.....aka (‘also-known-as)…

… "money", not hers, but "Bri's", to satisfy her doll(s) -desire.
We had a joint checking account.With funds it did supply...her, …
…till I noticed what was not ‘right'.Then I moved out,
but, I don't believe, at "D", I did.....at that time shout.

I rented a room, "D" and I had counseling, & got "separate-checking".
Miraculously her spending (and other things)ended up NOT wrecking ….
....our marriage, …YET!
But the darkness/light? "at the end of the tunnel" was there,
and in another year or two I'd had more than 'my share' …....
.....of foolishness! !

Perhaps the cats missed me?She kept them in the ….cellar!
I didn't miss "D", but years later, she sent letters to this ….feller
Now I've "lost (all)touch" with her; we parted friends.

Finally, I'll now tell you of ‘wife 3'.My story ‘never ends'.



Wife "3"

All of MY wives have been younger than I by several …..
years.
I've experienced some laughter, and, my wives, some ….
tears.
Wife # 3 [her name began with "D" also; I'll say "D-2"] …
was the Dumbest, but also the sexiest, AND she was kind, and sweet.
AND she baked cookies which, of course, I liked to eat.

Raised with a horrid dad and two brothers, …both …..
mentally retarded,
"D-2" ‘s life was a challenge nearly BEFORE it got started!
[[ And then I, BRI came along! ! ! ! ]]

D-2 worked at ‘care-giving' and ‘cleaning' jobs; she was good.
She was the most fun wife.Could she tell jokes?She …
could!
And sometimes I'd say somethin' funny & she would roll …., laughing, on the floor.
Other times we'd both roll, …in our bed, joking, … and …..MORE! !

But she and ‘Wife-the-First', were prone to depression,
and "D-2" …..
was "never satisfied" with her life; it was her expression....of disappointment!
Things got to be ‘NOT-so-much-fun', for both, & we....
got a divorce, …..
which caused D-2 [OF COURSE] to feel, later, quite a ….bit of ‘remorse'.



The "Others" ……


I've had love-interests in other women, throughout my …..
life, …..
but only four (4)times have I chosen a woman for my …...
‘dear' wife.
And I've yet to choose a man, though men have showed …interest in me, ...
….AT LEAST TWICE.
And DO NOT think I haven't ‘considered it'; some men …are...
..damn nice! ! !

Hell, look at ME! ! ! !


(April …..19th & 20th ….2018)


P.S.# 3 just called me, fifteen (15)years after divorcing me.
She asked: "Why don't you divorce her and marry my again? "
I answered her: "I'll consider it if the occasion ever arises."