A Stretch In The Park Poem by saadat tahir

A Stretch In The Park

Rating: 5.0

Trills and where flowers abound
Humming birds to buzz around.
Busy the crawlys on the ground
And creepies too on their round

Wicker basket hung on a tree
Around it whirs a bumble bee
Draw your neck an a beauty see
Forget-me-nots, a splendor wee

Skulk in shadows, bunch of goons
Iron-wrought an old festoons
Atop those ones, a couple croons
Parting lovers in their swoons

Here a cascade of fuchsias bloom
By the side of the keepers room
In gentle breeze dandelions loom
Lend to the air their fluffy plume

On the cobbles little girls frisk
By their side a historic obelisk
Along that path a Victorian disc
The one in Bermudas on his brisk

Splendor of flowing fountains gush
Call of the cuckoo breaks the hush
Wafting warble of a shiny thrush
Ah the couple, her cheeks are blush

Eldery lady with her stash of tome
Elfin eared, naughty little gnome
Smattering of people out of home
Dash of people with pooches roam

Silvery water in beaten streams
Mosses cling to their stony seams
A car reflects and sometime gleams
Ah! an the couple, in their dreams

(May 15,2009)


Lots of wonderful imagery, all abounding with a great command of rhythm and rhyme. Flowers, birds, lovers, ladies and even elves all take part in this happily alive beautiful park. 10 Karin Anderson

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Catrina Heart 20 May 2009

nature's song written in a great rhyming..............stunning stretch you have painted here.......10

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Marieta Maglas 21 May 2009

It is a beautiful pastel, full of superb epithets. Continues to write 10++

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Alison Cassidy 22 May 2009

You have shared some delightful images in this poem Saadat, and there are some wonderful witty touches too, but I wonder if your percussive rhyming pattern isn't just too obvious for such a gentle pastoral piece. Rhyming is certainly an important poetic device and can be very pleasing on the ear, but it is possible to rhyme for rhyme's sake, rather than use rhyming to add color and light to your ideas and images. I don't mean to be harsh, just helpful. You obviously have a fine poetic talent. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Reshma Ramesh 25 May 2009

well penned.......trust me, listen to alison.......she is always rite and has showed me the way all the time...........

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Asia Villaflor 28 December 2016

I think, you really got the most amazing rhythm, , , everybody can see it with this peace of you.... image already a fan.

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Soulful Heart 14 March 2014

a park come alive in words of freshness and natural hues......................lovely

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Karen Sinclair 16 January 2014

A lovely stroll through the worlds of Victoriana and contemporary combined. I really loved the visions I saw. Bravo fine poet. Karen

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Passionate Reader 29 June 2013

it's so lively and lovely :)

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Yasmin Khan 16 April 2013

a lovely description of a park and you have employed wonderful imagery of birds and flowers to help the reader make a mental picture of the place and rhymes are impressive as it's a discriminating quality of your poetry.

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