# # A Sudden Turn (With Haiku Version - My Very First!) Poem by Sonya Florentino

# # A Sudden Turn (With Haiku Version - My Very First!)

Rating: 3.1

A SUDDEN TURN (original version)

a fish darts forward

as water lilies re-arrange in the water

centered, in the moment

til it once again flits by

or a bird swoops down as suddenly

from the sky

© 2009 Sonya Florentino

A SUDDEN TURN (Haiku version)

a fish darts forward

water lilies re-arrange

space in the water

moment unbroken

til fish again flits by, or

bird swoops down from high

© 2009 Sonya Florentino

Original Unknown Girl 07 September 2009

I like both of these versions Sonya - its the creativity of the movement and the imagery is gorgeous. Very pretty poems, both of them! HG: -) xx

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Ency Bearis 05 September 2009

you got it right in the second version for the 5 - 7- 5 syllables of required Haiku and its meaningful...a lovely haiku.....

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Sandra Martyres 02 September 2009

Brilliant haiku for a first attempt Sonya and very elegant too...10

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nomad omnia 31 August 2009

Great work, Sonya, they both paint a perfect moving picture of the moment. I love the image of the swooping bird... Amazing to see how how the arrangement can affect the mood...I will refer back to this as a lesson in art: -) N

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Naseer Ahmed Nasir 30 August 2009

The haiku version is great. Perfectly fits in the definition of a haiku. Imagery is wonderful, very delicate silently conveying the deep and hidden meanings the uniqueness of a haiku. Keep writing haiku, Sonya.........10. Best Wishes Naseer

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R. H. Peat 31 July 2022

The haiku version is better. It might be stronger as haiku with a definite antithesis in both stanzas.

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Chinedu Dike 23 May 2020

Well articulated and nicely brought forth with artistic brilliance. Thanks for sharing and do remain enriched.

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Chuck Audette 04 March 2010

Love the haiku version. -c

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Ben Gieske 06 December 2009

very nicely done and you could change this into a Tanka too

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Indira Babbellapati 19 September 2009

i'm dumb struck.............

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Sonya Florentino

Sonya Florentino

Manila, Philippines (residing NYC)
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