Alcoholic Poem by Bob Blackwell

Early Morning,
Feeling weak
Hands shake,
Tummy Trembles,
Off to bar,
To get a shot.

Amazing how a drink
Relieves the stress,
The tensions of my body,
Shakes now gone,
Relief is found,
But only brief.

As body succumbs to
Alcohol, feelings of
Guilt abound.
I don't care
So lets have another drink;
Lets have another round.

Now I just want sleep
To eliminate the shame,
Forget the harm I may have
Done. Mind still works
A little talk to self, do not
Get too drunk.

You have to carry home,
A bottle, so you can drink,
To welcome sleep,
A sweet oblivion
Of nothingness. A stupor,
That helps me manage life.

Astonishing how I keep
This pattern up
From day to day,
Week to week,
Month to month,
Then years it carries on.

Drink for tomorrow
I may die!
Die! Die you will.
When tomorrow?
Who knows it could be sooner;
If not drink, it could be suicide.

The drink that kills, I think:
I do not care.
So lets have another drink.
Another round
So I can give way once
More to alcohol.

My mind goes round and
Round, then round some more,
Never stopping,
Crazy thoughts tumble
Through this cuckoo cage
I call my mind.

Never settling, switching
All the time, from one
Problem to another
Guilt, qualms, poor me,
Appear. Can't you see?
It wasn't me that drinks.

It was another man, my
Alter ego that drinks to
Much. I'm not like that.
I can stop, and one day
Will stop.
For sure I can.

Stop shaking, stop shaking,
Please stop my trembling hands.
Please make them go away,
In the bath my body shakes,
The water ripples, please
Shakes please go.

Must be clean not dirty,
Wash smell out.
Shave and then put on
Plenty aftershave.
Dress smart, a little drink
To kill the tremors.

Now nobody can tell, that
I'm the one that
Smells, that shakes,
Falls down, goes home
Infrequently,
Neglects his family.

Nobody can see that I
Make many promises
That I forget to keep,
That I do not care
Not even when I have
A little drink.

If, job I have, my mind
Is in another place that
Comes at end of day.
Where once again the drink
That cures relieves my pain
Of living in this world.

My mind is gone it has
Left to find another home.
It cannot live in space it
Has, it hurts to much.
The pain just goes, on to long.
Please make it stop.

God please make me stop,
Put the cork back in the
Bottle. So I can begin a
Life anew. One that doesn't
Hurt. An honest one, for me.
A promise I can keep.