Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I hate to talk about self
Why would I want to talk about self?
But been black and educated in my community
That makes me at the same time both…
The subject of scorn and ridicule
And of high and mighty praise
I want to talk about self
To put to rest any doubts that my dreadlocks might
Cause me to appear shallower than my grandiose perception of self
Or that my earrings and dangling chains and pant hanging low might label me a drifter
And why is that? Because I knocked on your doors to help school kids
But you slammed the door on me

Allow me this moment to vent
To take a poke at a society that is the source of my pain and a symbol of my struggle
I can’t catch all the ills in the news
But I seen the kids copying off of each other in the bus
I said: 'Excuse me Jane and John (and I just made up those names) , I can help'
The ridiculousness of the encounter exposing
A metaphor for their struggle and my need to talk about self

Who will take a real interest in me?
Perhaps the same question asked by Jane and John
That question becoming the sole source of their indifference towards school
So that even though they made it on top of their class with teachers wondering – how at every turn?
They both know they cheated their way to the top
And now that they have graduate they are suddenly free

Except they are not entirely free
The real question still exists in their mind and rightly so
To live in such imagination is hard for any child
But Jane and John know they can find freedom
They will try the music thing or the hustle thing or perhaps become parents
It is where they fit in - in this society of class and cast assignments

And so that puts me back on the spot
So that I am celebrated as educated and at the same time treated as ignorant
And I wonder…
Why I am looked upon with disdain and yet utter brilliance?
Cos even I myself
I know I am not completely free