Apologies For Living On Poem by Meena Kandasamy

Apologies For Living On

Rating: 3.2


I am living on
because providing apologies is easy

once—

i was making choices
with insanely safe ideas of
fleeing-madly-and-flying-away

i was a helpless girl
against the brutal world of
bottom-patting-and-breast-pinching

i was craving for security
the kind i had only known while
aimlessly-afloat-and-speculating-in-the-womb

now—

i am locked away
a terrified princess waiting
for-death-and-not-any-brave-prince

i don’t dream or think
i just remember and wince
at-voices-of-the-past-smirking-in-sarcasm

once—

i ran away in the darkness
nothing beaconed me more than the
prospect-of-solitude-and-the-caress-of-a-million-stars

i ran into the arms of the ravishing night
nothing pulled me back: not even the memories
of-love-i-had-once-known-&-stolen-kisses-savoured-for-so-long.

i ran until terror stopped my tracks
for, trembling i turned and saw that the moon was
another-immodest-ogler-and-lecherous-stalker.

(First published in Great Works, UK)

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Ravindran Govindaraju 11 September 2013

The moon was another stalker..reminds me of that immodest trail, ..chaser

5 0 Reply
Savita Tyagi 18 January 2018

Impressive and piercing words. Ongrarulations for a deserving member poem place.

1 1 Reply
Yusuf Qomor Olusola 18 January 2018

The tittle alone is pregnant of meaning already. A very thoughtful write!

1 0 Reply
Anil Kumar Panda 18 January 2018

Awesome poem. Like to read again and again. Enjoyed.

1 0 Reply
B.B.Bansode 08 January 2018

Want the theme and analysis of the poem

1 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 30 October 2021

Make a movie and i'd wish to watch it. ;) bri

0 0 Reply
Mahtab Bangalee 20 February 2020

once- i was a helpless girl against the brutal world of bottom-patting-and-breast-pinching ... now i don’t dream or think i just remember and wince at-voices-of-the-past-smirking-in-sarcas...........// really a great expression from the pure core of brave heart// beautiful poem penned

1 0 Reply

Very beautiful words, bottom patting and breast pinching, I appreciate your imagination. Very good poem.

1 0 Reply
Subhas Chandra Chakra 10 March 2018

You are greater than the great Maya Angelou..One day you are going even to a higher strata that she had.. I loved every inch of the soil on the Earth that this poem creates. Loved your poem as a whole. 10+++++ Subhas

0 0 Reply
Susan Williams 18 January 2018

This poem has such- -immediacy. The pain is in every letter of every word. The torture of a young female is abominable in any society, in any country, in any soul. I cringe for a girl who is compelled to apologize for living on. Onto my fav list

2 0 Reply
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