I was rear, and by the window
She was front, and by the aisle
I saw her reflection
Her face was moonlit
overflowing with strings of black curtains
cascading deep and drooping down,
Twins of twinkling stars
revealed between thin strips of dark disappearing clouds as moist as ever
and ready to pour into downpours,
sprinkled with occasional flashes of lightning,
As I admired her beauty on the mirror
hanging lonely over the steering wheel
of the passenger vehicle with a strength of a pack of playing cards,
it halted in its destination,
I searched her as her twinkling eyes crossed swords
and looked forward for her fullest portrait
Astonished I was to see her limping with artificial support,
while I stood unmoved, she disappeared without a trace,
But not within myself!
*A young boy was traveling in a bus, seating beside a rear window seat. He saw a girl sitting on the corner seat behind the driver. Her face reflected on the mirror hanging over the front glass panel. Her mirror image seemed so beautiful and he began to be in dreams, finding comparisions to her beauty. After an hour’s journey, the bus reached in its destination. He woke up from his dream and looked eagerly to have a complete look at her. But he was surprised to find her as a handicapped, limping with artificial support. While he stood still and astonished, she vanished without a trace.
This is an excellently woven poem with good pacing and imagery. I particularly like the use of lightening as a metaphor as the sudden and randomness of it fits well with the overall story.
very vividly described :) such a pleasure to read
Wow, great explanation and description! Very nice :) keep writing: P
though i was not thrilled by this poem, i did enjoy what you were expressing. i did not understand it completely until i read your explanation. i DO NOT agree with joe hughes' comments below. i certainly enjoy a poem which i understand without added explanation, but poemhunter does provide a separate place to write the poem's story and i am glad of it. i always write something in the story box. my wife says i just like to talk/type. BUT sometimes a little mystery can be a good thing in a poem. i DO believe joe h. wrote punish instead of publish in his comment. perhaps he should not submit a comment until he proofreads, reproofreads, and reproofreads! thnks for sharing. p.s. i DO partly agree with joe, in that i have found that poems i have written and ignored for a while can easily get better' in my opinion when i edit them, adding or subtracting here and there.
When fantasy touches the reality.......this can happen but not always...Good narration and unexpected twist...I invite you to read my lines.Thanks.
When the rock solid reality touches our floating dreams they do become crippled BUT not all.........nice poem....I invite you to Read my writes.Thanks.
Very well written. The ending was unexpected.
Beautiful poem.. Each line is so beautifully portrayed...I loved it... Plus 10 Everyday I will come to read your poems one by one...
The poem itself reveals everything, hence the detailed verse is not necessary. I studied in Manipal, Udipi and Mangalore during 1961 -68 where the girls were very beautiful, but since that area was endemic for filariasis, a very few may be suffering from elephantiasis leg.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.I would like to translate this poem
I have just finished reading each poem of yours and this is the one that has truly captured my imagination :)