Dandelion seeds
Wander gently in the breeze
After being set adrift
From their shared home
By the breath of an innocent,
Inspired by tradition.
A longing mind feels calm.
Cleansed. Free of woe.
For this moment.
Her bright eyes trail the
Recently departed travelers, tingling
With a sense of childish hope.
A hope that they're seeking to
Fulfill her request.
Her clear mind imagines
The seeds leading her to
Her truest wish.
A light smile dances
On her lips as she sighs
And whispers into the
Bare stem, ''Please,
Bring him here again.''
This is also very fine, Tiffany, but if you want to improve this, you may need to establish clear references of your subjects and be faithful to what they stand for in the whole text: what about the seeds, the clear mind and the pronoun her. Where does she start from. Define what is her truest wish. The poet must serve the clear references for the readers to understand and see the coherence of the message. Again, you have to build up images, if necessary try to be dramatic.
Now this has a theme/genre, it is happy. You can undertstand that the main character of the poem is happy. However, I wish you would add more after you said 'Please bring him here again' or give alittle more details of who this him is. Otherwise it would be random to put it there. Besides the point, this poem is much of a improvement to the last one I read 'Unenlightened :)
I don't understand bring him here again, was a lovely light poem to read, but left me confused here
This poem, to me, is beautiful, cute, sad and hopeful all at the same time. Dandelion is very well written. The imagery is very effective and I could feel the emotions the girl in the poem was experiencing. Another rating of ten!
Tiffany, You show extraordinary insight for a person your age. Your poetry is well thought out and descriptively direct. Please continue to write. Your mind is a fertile warehouse for daily interpretation of life.
Dandelion is a good title for this write. As we all know the dandelion grows in abundance with its yellow flower. Wishes are made so that a long lost love will appear just as the wind will blow the seeds far away and it will once again fall on fertile ground. I have a poem titled If We Ever Meet Again. Please read when you find time.
A nice exposition. its metaphysical and the cry from the bottom of a spirit. the persistent, penitent and pensive mood! OH! really lofry for a poetical rendering and the tear is the crystal clear symbol of our inward being. a tear can cleanse or tear away the heart. you have a pleasing way of expression. please try for more rythmic and rhyming along with the deep passion in your poems. yours friendly P.Bose 20/01/2013
Another great job. A wonderful theme choice. The metaphor and personification are grand. The images, contents and expressions bring this portrait together. Very good. May you continue to inspire with your wonderful gift.
brilliant work, love the display and share brilliance in the twist of word
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
u r relly a gr8 poet...well done