Professor Poetry Hound


Digital Prayers - Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

Last week I realized that I was praying for a lot of the
same things over and over. So what I did was burn a CD
with all my standard prayer themes, you know like bless
my mom and dad, lay the wining lottery ticket on me,
stick a broomstick up Pat Robertson’s ass – the usual
kinds of things. So now I don’t need to waste so much
time praying. I just press “play” on the CD player, and
out go my prayers to Jesus while I can go lounge in my
recliner and watch the ball game. Sometimes I feel bad
about the Pat Robertson part. I mean, it shouldn’t always
be a broomstick. Sometimes Jesus should just cover his
big fat mouth with duct tape. Robertson would probably
blame it on the devil. Little would he know that Jesus was
behind it.


Comments about Digital Prayers by Professor Poetry Hound

  • The Pundit (11/21/2014 3:59:00 PM)


    Ha! The old broom stick up the slamma-jamma. His ratings would go up. I tried to comment on some others but the system is screwed up. (Report) Reply

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  • (5/14/2006 11:04:00 PM)


    I'm happy that this one ended in a bit of mercy. We're supposed to forgive those who trespass against us - turn the other cheek - but wow, just how hard is Jesus testing us these days? (Report) Reply

  • (4/27/2006 12:09:00 AM)


    ProPoHo, I can tell you, God must have fallen off his throne, bust out laughing, when he read this prayer/poem of yours. Our deepest prayers are how we live, what sings, what we keep singing in our hearts. I don't think there is room for any thing else in Pat Robertson's ass, since his head quite fully fills it. Thanks for another good one. Phillip (Report) Reply

  • (4/22/2006 2:39:00 AM)


    Oh professor, you are brilliant! If I were Jesus, I would be sick of hearing those same old prayers every single day. Same old, same old. So why not save time. A broom handle is not big enough to fit that ass Robertson! If this poem does not warrant a ten, then which one would? 10! ! (Report) Reply

  • (4/21/2006 3:57:00 PM)


    You'll need a big supply of duct tape to tape up the hypocritical mouths of those diamond ring wearing, hair sprayed coifs, phoney healing...yadda yadda...Benny Hinn, think that is his name, is the worst. Maybe i'm wrong. Perhaps it is ok to bribe the gullible with offers of wealth if you'll just give your money to me and make me wealthy...Rant over (Report) Reply

  • (4/21/2006 3:01:00 PM)


    Prof. This is outstanding. You manage to raise so many questions in such a short piece. You might be taking the piss, but I reckon that your work has import. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, April 21, 2006



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