Rajnish Manga

Gold Star - 145,417 Points (September 10,1951 / Meerut (UP) / Presently at Faridabad (Haryana) , India.)

(limerick) Fun With Re-Writes - Poem by Rajnish Manga

[In the spirit of good fun, Rajnish Manga and Wes Vogler
have collaborated in a variety of last stanza re-writes.
The intro will appear once. The two stanzas will then
appear each time with changes only in stanza two
(for convenience of reading the complete limerick) ]

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The original Limerick: Talking To A Girlfriend
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He was arrested for assaulting a policeman;
The magistrate asked him what was his plan;
'Sir, I was in a phone booth,
Talking to my girlfriend Ruth,
This man dragged me out before it began'.

'You got furious and attacked the sepoy? '
The magistrate felt sympathy for that guy;
'Yes, Sir, ' the man gestured,
'My patience was fractured,
Cop also pulled out my girlfriend, that's why'

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re-write ONE

(The charge was assaulting a Sepoy
who was discharging his duty)

'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'

'Your reaction was violent, extremely
I would side with our officer Breemly.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner unseemly.'

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next version re-write TWO


'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'

'You reacted, quite candidly, crassily.
I would side with our officer Vasili.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner quite brassily.'

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next version re-write THREE

'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'

'You reacted in manner provokely
I would side with our officer Oakley.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner 'no jokely'.'

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next version re-write FOUR
(in the event it was pronounced VasEEli)

'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'

'You attacked like a maddened Swazili
I would side with our Sepoy Vasili.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
To stand this, no way it was easy.'

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and final version re-write FIVE

'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'

'You attacked him with vehement anga.
I would side with our officer Manga.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
Like a silly old Orangatanga.'

(BY NOW, SINCE YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH ALL THE FIVE REVISED VERSIONS OF THE ORIGINAL POEM, PLEASE LET US HAVE YOUR CHOICE ABOUT THE BEST RE-WRITE VERSION FROM ONE TO FIVE PUBLISHED ABOVE)

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Topic(s) of this poem: girlfriend, justice, poem, poetic expression, police, problems, telephone

Form: Limerick


Poet's Notes about The Poem

The idea for a re-write of a limerick looked very innovative and we have worked really hard to bring the project to its logical end. It is for the readers to evaluate this collaborative venture. This will pave the way for our future projects.

Comments about (limerick) Fun With Re-Writes by Rajnish Manga

  • Marie Shine (5/29/2017 3:26:00 PM)


    The fifth re-write is my favourite!
    'You attacked him with vehement anga.
    I would side with our officer Manga.'
    'My temper it blew
    When he yanked her out, too.
    Like a silly old Orangatanga.'
    An outstanding collaboration! Kudos to you and Wes, also applause for very entertaining, witty re-writes! Splendid work! Thank you for sharing. Blessings to you both. I look forward to reading your future collab's...
    (Report) Reply

    Rajnish Manga Rajnish Manga (5/30/2017 4:07:00 AM)

    This was just an experiment which could not go too far. However, thanks for your kind words of appreciation for this joint venture. Thank you, My Dear Friend.

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (3/19/2016 11:56:00 AM)


    Great writes but I love the original version, Sounds more authentic.
    Thanks for the fun
    (Report) Reply

  • Edward Kofi Louis (2/21/2016 2:00:00 PM)


    Justice! The way forward. Thanks for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • Akhtar Jawad (1/30/2016 11:45:00 AM)


    Very interesting experiment. Though difficult to decide but I think final, i.e.,5th is the best. (Report) Reply

  • Mohammed Asim Nehal (1/27/2016 12:58:00 PM)


    And I go with re-write THREE................ (Report) Reply

  • Kumarmani Mahakul (1/26/2016 6:20:00 AM)


    The intro will appear once. The two stanzas will then
    appear each time with changes...very amazing drafting shared on really. Wisely penned.10
    (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (1/24/2016 6:57:00 AM)


    Wes Vogler seems to enjoy this kind of re-write! Any way it helps readers to think in what all ways, the same incident can be presented with variety! Good attempt! (Report) Reply

Read all 8 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Sunday, January 24, 2016

Poem Edited: Tuesday, January 26, 2016


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