[In the spirit of good fun, Rajnish Manga and Wes Vogler
have collaborated in a variety of last stanza re-writes.
The intro will appear once. The two stanzas will then
appear each time with changes only in stanza two
(for convenience of reading the complete limerick) ]
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The original Limerick: Talking To A Girlfriend
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He was arrested for assaulting a policeman;
The magistrate asked him what was his plan;
'Sir, I was in a phone booth,
Talking to my girlfriend Ruth,
This man dragged me out before it began'.
'You got furious and attacked the sepoy? '
The magistrate felt sympathy for that guy;
'Yes, Sir, ' the man gestured,
'My patience was fractured,
Cop also pulled out my girlfriend, that's why'
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re-write ONE
(The charge was assaulting a Sepoy
who was discharging his duty)
'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'
'Your reaction was violent, extremely
I would side with our officer Breemly.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner unseemly.'
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next version re-write TWO
'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'
'You reacted, quite candidly, crassily.
I would side with our officer Vasili.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner quite brassily.'
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next version re-write THREE
'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'
'You reacted in manner provokely
I would side with our officer Oakley.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
'Twas done in a manner 'no jokely'.'
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next version re-write FOUR
(in the event it was pronounced VasEEli)
'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'
'You attacked like a maddened Swazili
I would side with our Sepoy Vasili.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
To stand this, no way it was easy.'
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and final version re-write FIVE
'You assaulted an officer crudely.'
The young man replied, rather moodly:
'I was in a phone booth
Conversing with Ruth
When this hooligan pulled me out rudely.'
'You attacked him with vehement anga.
I would side with our officer Manga.'
'My temper it blew
When he yanked her out, too.
Like a silly old Orangatanga.'
(BY NOW, SINCE YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH ALL THE FIVE REVISED VERSIONS OF THE ORIGINAL POEM, PLEASE LET US HAVE YOUR CHOICE ABOUT THE BEST RE-WRITE VERSION FROM ONE TO FIVE PUBLISHED ABOVE)
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The intro will appear once. The two stanzas will then appear each time with changes...very amazing drafting shared on really. Wisely penned.10
sepoy: The lowest enlisted rank in the British Indian army and its successors, equivalent to private. One holding this rank.
Great writes but I love the original version, Sounds more authentic. Thanks for the fun
Very interesting experiment. Though difficult to decide but I think final, i.e.,5th is the best.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Wes Vogler seems to enjoy this kind of re-write! Any way it helps readers to think in what all ways, the same incident can be presented with variety! Good attempt!