...In perpetual drive,
with serpentine motions,
till you get in the capsule
of Adam's embrace.
Inside it only, preserved you'll keep
your girlish beauty and youthful grace,
hissed the snake to Eve once
and slipped back in the grass...
Sofia,28/09/08
The original sin: variations on the theme. A sort of theatre in a relived and reinvented plot. A feeling of melancholy more than guilt. We haven't read Onelia's poems for some time, we read it with pleasure.
the reasoning is impeccable - but what gender is the snake? There seems to be an underlying assumption of complicity at work here... An expressly feminine rationalisation. Beautifully posited. Rgds, Ivan
A beautiful succinct message. The moral is clear for all to interpret. Love the title too... another fabulous penning dear One. HG: -) xx
Subtle, layered truths, beautifully set out in your inimitable voice, Onelia.
It took me a little time to grasp the whole of it... Great work of art... Here you are at the pinnacle of creativity... Keep it up... I think 10 is not enough for this poem, as it can't be measured in numbers or any known unit... :)
Totally agree with my old mate Ivan, a stunningly simple concept well worth a mention.
What a delicious concept to bite into! I believe that Eve is more sinned against than sinning...love the fantastic futuristic ending that is the beginning of the beginning! Succinct and makes one think and then think...again. love Dónall Dónall
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
a different outlook on conjugation... purely feminine...has a right of course... write graceful enough and good 10