Wisdom Teeth Extraction Poem by Chuck Audette
Wisdom Teeth Extraction
had to go to the dentist
'cuz my wisdom teeth were hurtin
He said 'we've got to pull them,
that I know for certain'
The first of the four, an upper
came out easy as you please
it was fully in -
didn't need much expertise
Then over to the lower right
(did i mention all those novacaine pokes?)
The dentist swore, for it was too tight,
and when pulling it, it broke)
'I have to cut and drill you! '
he said with a manic gleam in his eye
there was nothing I could do
but nod and trust this guy
'Close your eyes while I drill'
so began his boring pursuit
I felt a little ill
but he finally freed the root
he closed up the wound
said, 'these stitches will dissolve'
You're half-way done, Dude! '
so I steeled my resolve
Then the right upper
(there are names for these I bet)
he yanked it out so fast
I didn't even sweat.
Then onto number four
way out against my cheek
it turned to quite a chore
I tried hard not to freak
the crackling crunching ceased
It's ended, I thought with awe
then he showed it to me
'it came with a shard of jaw'
Then stitching and he'd done
his attendants placed some gauze
it wasn't very fun
but still I gave applause
I got to keep my teeth
and the bits and pieces, true
but when the toothfairy comes
will there be a bonefairy, too?
A well polished tale, each stanza a perfect extract - ion of all that we fear from the dentist's chair - nicely injected with your trademark humour. Did you ever see Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman? ! A beaming smile, (without any wisdom teeth - hmm what does that say?) Justine :)
Does that mean you are left with no 'Wisdom' now Charles? You certainly put the pain into this one alright. A very gummy poem. Loved it. Love Ernestine XXX
Chuck, as usual, you've graced us with another piece of wisdom to sink our teeth into... mine are hurting in the process. Great write! !
Ouch! Drugs are really the best way to go, Chuck....like far out man! This was funny...as always.
Never trust a dentist who call you 'dude'. Good one, Chuck. I cheated - had mine out under general knock-out: p. Nomad
Dentists get a bad rap, except for the ones finding cracks and cavities that aren't there. Meanwhile, bits of us fall off and out, and nothin' you can do abaht it! L
A wise and woolly piece that brings back terrifying memories of childhood drilling and pulling (no wonder my dad had such large forearm muscles!) . You guessed it. Dad was a dentist (and a stoic of the 'old school) and I can still remember the terror of visits to see him in his 'rooms'. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Good subject hiding right out in the open few if any could see it I’m sure. Not a pleasant read for me, probably not for most, when you get down to it wish I thought of it nice tight rhyming here
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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12/10/2025 12:02:32 AM # 1.0.0
Hahahah...ohhh sorry Chuck...not laughing at your misery...just the last line grabbed me! ! I recommend sending your poem to anyone you know who has dental woes! ! Hugs, dee