Aloud

Rating: 3.1
Candy words
melting in your mouth.
Too proud
to say them aloud?
Yet you sigh,
you moan out loud.
Still they find a way
to leave, though
you did not mean
to dropp them out.
And you hope,
all will vaporize unheard -
lapses of an eager heart...
Thursday, November 13, 2008
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COMMENTS
Anil Kumar Panda 17 June 2011
very nice.short and to the point.liked it.
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Ivor Hogg 07 January 2009
Perhaps he is tongue tied in your presence
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Tsira Goge 03 December 2008
lapses of an eager heart... ....................................... Clever and warm poem... 10..... Tsira
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Unique imagery in your first two lines alone had me engrossed, and I was right to be so..... t x
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Reshma Ramesh 22 November 2008
superb work................well penned
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Sandra Fowler 19 November 2008
Unique use of metaphor. I like what you see from your own personal window on the world. Excellent work. Warm regards, Sandra
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Janice Windle 18 November 2008
Moving and as someone else has said, a little anguished. You describe so well the disturbing sense that a lover is holding back the very words that would make you trust, and so making you mistrust, perhaps because they don't trust themselves.
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Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello 15 November 2008
These candy words are a little told a little untold. As regards the usual, the style is a little different: dry, mature, anguished. How the first poems are far! However how the past returns in these dynamics! PH is changing, many things are vanishing, Mrs. Avelar always deserves our regard and our affection
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Original Unknown Girl 14 November 2008
Very pretty presentation of how an ordinary occurrence can somehow become illuminated in our minds. The final 3 lines are blinding, the imagery of vapourising is superb! Love it Onelia. HG: -) xx
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C. P. Sharma 14 November 2008
Wow, a dramatically captured state of mind with heart in it. CP
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