By Father's Bedside...Hospital Musings! 25, June Poem by saadat tahir

Thanks for your note about the pattern formed Saadat, as I was watching it change and thought it was very clever. It not only rhymed with great rhythm, but you achieved this as well. 'purple bruises' and 'his quivering lips and shaking hands, how surreally fight the restraining band' stood out for me! Well done! 10 Karin Anderson

You have combined your emotional involvement with your inside knowledge of medical environments so effectively here. The shape is a lovely idea - thank you for your note on that.

Silence broken by a hushed converse Breaking news of comma’s reverse Alien aura of tubes and stands Silent heave swollen glands....meaningful and educative poem with deep inside knowledge.... good write. read mine papa do u know and papa you too/ along with o, mother

you bring out the cloinical atmosphere in the hospital devoid of any human touch very graphically. no wonder, staying in a hospital is an ordeal. your senses are acute and don't miss anything- a myraid of conflicting emotions- well expressed take care Mamta

You create an atmosphere of pain and suffering so exactly here, with a touch of never-ending hope in the end...The power of prayers and light is always there.Thanks for sharing your experience, Saadat. A.

Father would have felt the deep love from his son... a touching poem Saadat.Thank you for sharing.

what a powerful way of writing, you have a strong command of words to suit the picture you intend to convey to the reader

you have used images to their optimum effect and they bring out the poignancy of the piece with an amazing conviction...impressive! !

This is well crafted containing strong emotions that show the devotion of a son. I also appreciate your familiarity with the medical environment that notices tiny details and in a few words captures the scene.

Hi Saadat, I have also sat beside my Mum's bedside like this and can bring it to mind vividly at a moment's notice. Did he recover? If so best wishes to you both.