By Father's Bedside...Hospital Musings! 25, June Poem by saadat tahir

By Father's Bedside...Hospital Musings! 25, June

Rating: 5.0

Silence broken by a hushed converse
Breaking news of comma's reverse

Alien aura of tubes and stands
Silent heave swollen glands

Muffled giggle kids gleam
Gramps tries a silent beam

Hardly suit, infirm and sick
Elegant floor, ceramic slick

Fallen off a dizzying sledge
Ill at ease in a plastered leg

Distant bout of rasping cough
Chastised attendant off in a huff

Purple bruises of attempted drips
Stand out sharply from shiny clips

Divergent forms with baggy attires
Crouched nurse maneuvering wires

His quivering lips and shaking hands
How surreally fight the restraining band

Some blood be drawn for the endocrines
Whispered whoosh of support machines

A starched prong on the matron's head
Declining spinster, should have wed

(June 24,2009)

Centre justified the lines assume the shape of a flower vase…
….signifying hope!


Thanks for your note about the pattern formed Saadat, as I was watching it change and thought it was very clever. It not only rhymed with great rhythm, but you achieved this as well. 'purple bruises' and 'his quivering lips and shaking hands, how surreally fight the restraining band' stood out for me! Well done! 10 Karin Anderson

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Janice Windle 30 June 2009

You have combined your emotional involvement with your inside knowledge of medical environments so effectively here. The shape is a lovely idea - thank you for your note on that.

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Silence broken by a hushed converse Breaking news of comma’s reverse Alien aura of tubes and stands Silent heave swollen glands....meaningful and educative poem with deep inside knowledge.... good write. read mine papa do u know and papa you too/ along with o, mother

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Mamta Agarwal 01 July 2009

you bring out the cloinical atmosphere in the hospital devoid of any human touch very graphically. no wonder, staying in a hospital is an ordeal. your senses are acute and don't miss anything- a myraid of conflicting emotions- well expressed take care Mamta

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Yelena M. 03 July 2009

You create an atmosphere of pain and suffering so exactly here, with a touch of never-ending hope in the end...The power of prayers and light is always there.Thanks for sharing your experience, Saadat. A.

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Cigeng Zhang 03 May 2015

Father would have felt the deep love from his son... a touching poem Saadat.Thank you for sharing.

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Brian Jani 07 July 2014

what a powerful way of writing, you have a strong command of words to suit the picture you intend to convey to the reader

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Sheena Datta 27 May 2012

you have used images to their optimum effect and they bring out the poignancy of the piece with an amazing conviction...impressive! !

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Lillian Thomas 06 August 2009

This is well crafted containing strong emotions that show the devotion of a son. I also appreciate your familiarity with the medical environment that notices tiny details and in a few words captures the scene.

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Shirley Woods 06 August 2009

Hi Saadat, I have also sat beside my Mum's bedside like this and can bring it to mind vividly at a moment's notice. Did he recover? If so best wishes to you both.

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