Existence Poem by Asif Baloch

Existence

Rating: 5.0


Why are you chasing the life, asif
death is the only gift from lover for you

I'm not angry with you my dear
I'm furious on the feelings tho I feel
shatered and tormented
weeping for broken dreams

To whom shall I show
the mourns of my heart
pierced to pieces
torned into several parts

Thus now the lines
are vanishing from
the palms of my hand
the fate has forgoten
the being of my very
existence

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Sulaiman Mohd Yusof 12 December 2008

Existence is defined by the presence of precious and priceless.......which was life.Good job Asif.

1 0 Reply
Ben Gieske 12 December 2008

'death is the only gift from lover for you' - a thought provoking phrase' The disappearance of the lines in the palm of the hand is a very strong image of your predicament. Well chosen. Are those better off who live and do not know the meaning of their living?

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Dr Kamran Haider 12 December 2008

Destiny and Personality... From where we started and to where we are heading... Sometimes dogmatic believes seem contradicting our default cognition... Another philosophical and deep write by you... You surely make your reader think alot, which makes you very special... Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece...

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Reshma Ramesh 12 December 2008

loved the last stanza...........well penned

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Seema Aarella 12 December 2008

The unlawful exploits of merciless timeon our sensitive being well explained in the lines which i liked the most 'Thus now the lines are vanishing from the palms of my hand the fate has forgoten the being of my very existence ' thats where the game ends when fortune closes the door and destiny cares us less...and we have no where to go...no one to hold on! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! A very deep look at life...Again a good work from u Aijaz...10!

1 0 Reply
Indira Renganathan 21 January 2009

That is life..every second is a passing moment and fate naturally forgets...so why to brood...good poem

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Gargi Saha 07 January 2009

A new sort of beginning. u get 10++..........

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Seema Chowdhury 14 December 2008

don't look at the broken dream as the end. yet it is another begining and gives you an opportunity to look forward to something else and wish more.

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*Trusting You* 13 December 2008

your ending palm image is neat for the reader. along with 'm furious on the feelings tho I feel shatered and tormented weeping for broken dreams they are really great lines that describe so many of us today with a lil twist. good job. Becca

1 0 Reply
Kesav Easwaran 12 December 2008

the palm line imagery is brilliant...the game of fate is on, starting from your palms i suppose...another dark piece, Aijaz...well lighted up...10

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