Hemingway's Bizarre Dream: The Oldman And The Fog,1st.Episode Poem by ahmed khaled

..i add you in my list of fav poets.. ..you are just wonderful with words..

Very abstract but really good. Dreaming and decieving. I like it

Wonderful poem Ahmed, thanks for sharing.

Intrusion of emotion between real things and non living things...such a beautiful write Ahmed, lot of meaning your poem carry within every lines..it doesnt matter we change the name but the things still the same...if you change your name as someone else name but the whole you is still you...and your soul is what made you...Dont live in fog and decide to see deception wait and till the fog gone you will bear things in real again_Unwritten SOul

we hear the old sound of fear with... when a loud sound of suddenly_stopped car.. engine, , .. awakened the oldman, to find nothing.. but his warm place,

All happiness with me to find any one doing his best to produce some sort of objective comments besides the subjective ones, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , with all extreme respect i welcome your fine notes but bear in mind, , , , , , , , , , , , , , dear friend brian that any ceative artistic work must pass through, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , three lines no matter if, intersected, these three lines are, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , THE MENTAL.......................................................................................... THE SENTIMENTAL................................................................................. THE EXPERIMENTAL.............................................................................. alot, in thanks YOUR FRIEND PHDAHMEDKHALEDT

Ahmed, thanks for making me aware of your poem. I found it amusing and interesting. The concept is a fresh one, and, unlike so many poems, this ends well. Fifth line might do with a verb. Line fourteen 'against both' unnecessary. How about: 'they made an agreement/to have a battle between them'? Think you need to tinker a little with elements of how fog and man exchange names but should not be too difficult to set right. Really like the poem's lightness of tone. This is an 'airy' concept and a weightier treatment would have killed it. Hope these suggestions and comments are of some use to you. Best from B.E.P.

when a loud sound of suddenly_stopped car.. engine, , .. awakened me, to find nothing.. but my warm place, shining screen, in front, and your poem, bizarre fun.

sea or fog or iceberg...always within or between man n life...dear la hemingway!

very good, you weave in and out of the mind well. good poem!