Tan Pratonix

Bronze Star - 2,607 Points (Triolet, Mauritius)

Monsoon Showers - Poem by Tan Pratonix

September clouds
Gather over the graying city
Ready to attack

Stinging drops
Spatter on the street, sidewalks,
And striped plastic awnings

Umbrellas appear
Sprouting like mushrooms
In the busy market-place

Black nylon shields
Against the torrential rain,
Slim liquid spears

Smash against my window-pane,
Trickling like tears
Down the dusty glass

People run for cover
Branches snap
Soon the street becomes a river

Topic(s) of this poem: rainy season

Form: Free Verse

Comments about Monsoon Showers by Tan Pratonix

  • Daniel Brick (11/26/2016 10:59:00 PM)

    Monsoon showers
    This is a striking poem with the most vivid evocation of the force of monsoon rains, something I have never experienced directly. But your images - short, sharp, precise - make the experience imaginatively alive and real.
    I can see myself slipping and sliding as I run for shelter, happy that the rains have broken the heat, happy to just watch nature's exciting show of force.
    (Report) Reply

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  • (11/26/2016 5:48:00 AM)

    Black nylon shields]slim liquid spears=excellence. Great imagery throughout. Thank you for inviting me to read it. (Report) Reply

  • (11/26/2016 4:18:00 AM)

    Monsoon Showers
    A good poem, with vivid images. I like the
    way you choose the thins to highlight. All of them
    Are things we can see. and join you in observation.
    This style gives us events in time as they happen. Thanks
    (Report) Reply

  • Matt Mooney (11/8/2016 6:48:00 PM)

    Monsoon Showers
    A poem with a perfect flow. Good build up to the downpour. Good imagery. Well written. (Report) Reply

  • Michael Mcparland (11/2/2016 6:56:00 PM)

    This is a very nice poem my friend. Wonderful description and style. (Report) Reply

  • Darwin Henry Beuning (10/29/2016 3:58:00 AM)

    Tan, very nice. What is the name of the city? Very Whimsical poem. (Report) Reply

  • (10/6/2016 10:08:00 AM)

    You described the approaching rains in a very entertaining way. Step by step we first see the clouds forming, then the few rain drops that announce the arrival of the monsoon. The umbrellas opening like mushrooms to ward off the rain tell us many were well prepared, and were not deterred from their daily activities. The monsoon - a bothersome nuisance to some, a welcome necessity to others. No matter what we think, Nature will have her way. I enjoyed reading your poem. (Report) Reply

  • Amitava Sur (9/24/2015 11:02:00 PM)

    A lively picture of monsoon you perfectly drew through this poem.Enjoyed a lot. (Report) Reply

  • Bill Galvin (9/21/2015 11:11:00 PM)

    Tan, you've created a perfect picture for those of us who will never experience this. Thank you.10. (Report) Reply

  • Bill Cantrell (9/18/2015 5:32:00 PM)

    First of all, thank you for asking for my opinion, a very good poem indeed! The title lays the groundwork....monsoon, anyone ever experiencing this well knows your term ready to attack is such a grand description of the upcoming onslaught coming upon a peaceful sunny day. I really like this work of yours my friend...10 (Report) Reply

  • Tapera Makadho (9/18/2015 11:11:00 AM)

    I must hasten to say
    You are back with a bang
    Good piece in the fray
    (Report) Reply

  • Sanjukta Nag (9/18/2015 7:46:00 AM)

    Sublime... the moments of raincoming are captured so beautifully with vivid imagery.. loved it. many thanks. (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Friday, September 18, 2015

Poem Edited: Friday, September 18, 2015

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