Wisdom Teeth Extraction Poem by Chuck Audette

Wisdom Teeth Extraction

Rating: 5.0


had to go to the dentist
'cuz my wisdom teeth were hurtin
He said 'we've got to pull them,
that I know for certain'

The first of the four, an upper
came out easy as you please
it was fully in -
didn't need much expertise

Then over to the lower right
(did i mention all those novacaine pokes?)
The dentist swore, for it was too tight,
and when pulling it, it broke)

'I have to cut and drill you! '
he said with a manic gleam in his eye
there was nothing I could do
but nod and trust this guy

'Close your eyes while I drill'
so began his boring pursuit
I felt a little ill
but he finally freed the root

he closed up the wound
said, 'these stitches will dissolve'
You're half-way done, Dude! '
so I steeled my resolve

Then the right upper
(there are names for these I bet)
he yanked it out so fast
I didn't even sweat.

Then onto number four
way out against my cheek
it turned to quite a chore
I tried hard not to freak

the crackling crunching ceased
It's ended, I thought with awe
then he showed it to me
'it came with a shard of jaw'

Then stitching and he'd done
his attendants placed some gauze
it wasn't very fun
but still I gave applause

I got to keep my teeth
and the bits and pieces, true
but when the toothfairy comes
will there be a bonefairy, too?

COMMENTS OF THE POEM

Ouch! Drugs are really the best way to go, Chuck....like far out man! This was funny...as always.

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Brian Dorn 31 August 2006

Chuck, as usual, you've graced us with another piece of wisdom to sink our teeth into... mine are hurting in the process. Great write! !

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Ernestine Northover 31 August 2006

Does that mean you are left with no 'Wisdom' now Charles? You certainly put the pain into this one alright. A very gummy poem. Loved it. Love Ernestine XXX

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R H 03 September 2006

A well polished tale, each stanza a perfect extract - ion of all that we fear from the dentist's chair - nicely injected with your trademark humour. Did you ever see Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman? ! A beaming smile, (without any wisdom teeth - hmm what does that say?) Justine :)

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Dee Daffodil 05 September 2006

Hahahah...ohhh sorry Chuck...not laughing at your misery...just the last line grabbed me! ! I recommend sending your poem to anyone you know who has dental woes! ! Hugs, dee

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nomad omnia 03 April 2010

Never trust a dentist who call you 'dude'. Good one, Chuck. I cheated - had mine out under general knock-out: p. Nomad

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Linda Hepner 04 June 2009

Dentists get a bad rap, except for the ones finding cracks and cavities that aren't there. Meanwhile, bits of us fall off and out, and nothin' you can do abaht it! L

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Alison Cassidy 02 April 2009

A wise and woolly piece that brings back terrifying memories of childhood drilling and pulling (no wonder my dad had such large forearm muscles!) . You guessed it. Dad was a dentist (and a stoic of the 'old school) and I can still remember the terror of visits to see him in his 'rooms'. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Gregory Gunn 08 December 2006

Was that a mouthful or what?

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fanniesson - 21 November 2006

Good subject hiding right out in the open few if any could see it I’m sure. Not a pleasant read for me, probably not for most, when you get down to it wish I thought of it nice tight rhyming here

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Chuck Audette

Chuck Audette

Poetry Hell, Vermont
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