Shahzia Batool

Bronze Star - 2,258 Points (Pakistan)

You! - Poem by Shahzia Batool

I got a chance to meet You
in the feel of a moment
gripped in the crystalline abstraction
of a diamond bonding…

at my first sight,
a young sheep,
a kitten,
or a chic You looked to me;
but as the moments passed by,
I kept on exploring You
and found to my sheer surprise
a ripe mind,
a deep thought,
a razor-pen You kept and still keep…
a keen observer,
a bright writer,
a sharp critic;

I felt your soul like a lighted candle
Sometimes kindling the light
though sometimes idly burning away
but always on the flickering flame
fighting against the bold blows
and strokes of critical winds…
I felt the hardening of your heart
by constant fighting
within and without…

You made me up and happy
You made me down and sad
but never annoyed me
I likened you to Stephen D.
I likened you to the bard of fancy
I wished to write an ode to You…

Reading You is a wonder feel,
One might feel sitting either
in a submarine
or a space-shuttle..
you have always been so dead sure
beyond being challenged ever…
I witnessed deaths of ego hard
With no offence, with no blame
People let you rule their moods

for how they can file an F.I.R
when in all crystalline way
they love the killer…! ! !

Comments about You! by Shahzia Batool

  • Mohammed Asim Nehal (9/18/2015 9:03:00 PM)

    One of your best poems................I liked it. A contrasting poetry with fine flow and flawless message. (Report) Reply

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  • Akhtar Jawad (6/30/2015 11:19:00 AM)

    for how they can file an F.I.R
    when in all crystalline way
    they love the killer…! ! !
    After reading this poem and particularly the last three lines the pages of history make me shy of myself. I can't do anything except regretting what i did in past and what I am doing at present. A great poem.
    (Report) Reply

  • Kelly Kurt (4/2/2015 3:37:00 PM)

    I was moved. A very beautiful poem, Shahzia. Thank you for sharing.
    (Report) Reply

  • Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (11/5/2014 10:47:00 AM)

    I felt your soul like a lighted candle
    Sometimes kindling the light
    though sometimes idly burning away
    but always on the flickering flame
    A beautiful love free verse with lot of good and beautiful figurative language
    Col Mohammad Khalid Khan
    (Report) Reply

  • Lyn Paul (11/2/2014 4:08:00 PM)

    Feel the truth, mystery and pain in these words Shazia. Thank you x Searching for you to see you are no longer penning. Wish you well (Report) Reply

  • Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (10/28/2014 3:09:00 AM)

    A thought provoking love poem.Well done keep it up
    Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
    (Report) Reply

  • Geetha Jayakumar (11/21/2013 4:18:00 AM)

    A fascinating and intriguing write. Left me puzzled...Lovely poem. (Report) Reply

  • Ramesh Rai (11/12/2013 5:02:00 PM)

    I adore your emotion as well as your write. (Report) Reply

  • (11/8/2013 11:36:00 PM)

    What a strong relationship between exists between an individual and his ego is always a puzzle, yet to be solved. It might give comfort sometimes but most of the times it makes us sad. The narration technique is superb. Nice work Shazia, (Report) Reply

  • (11/5/2013 10:47:00 PM)

    Meaningful... enjoyed the read! (Report) Reply

  • Patricia Grantham (11/2/2013 11:51:00 PM)

    I enjoyed this poignant write. Really lifted me up to the skies.
    I must come back down to earth now. You is so lucky Enjoyed.
    (Report) Reply

  • Rigzin Namgyal (10/7/2013 7:12:00 AM)

    ..a poetic sonata..that only a poetess of Shahzia's caliber can produce..poetry at its very epitome..
    ..loved it..i will give you a perfect 10 for this brilliant display of writing..
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/5/2013 12:35:00 AM)

    Amazingly composed deserves 10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Aftab Alam Khursheed (10/4/2013 3:32:00 AM)

    wel composition, nice observation and a lovely poem (Report) Reply

  • Heather Wilkins (10/3/2013 11:00:00 AM)

    beautiful writing Shahzia enjoyed the write (Report) Reply

  • Queeny Gona (10/3/2013 10:46:00 AM)

    Ahh! Less words have I to reciprocate after reading such an amazing verse...... The ending is no less interesting as the rest of the read dear Poet pal. (Report) Reply

  • Cassandra Jasmine (10/3/2013 10:14:00 AM)

    Oh! I love this poem! I'm going to add it to my favorites. ;) I can't decide which stanza I liked most, because I loved all of it.10/10 :) (Report) Reply

  • Xelam Kan™ (10/2/2013 8:26:00 AM)

    wonderful versification, though theme is quite simple and has been treated frequently but from shazia' pen it seems quite fresh and exotic, treated absolutely brilliant.
    a garland of early spring roses for someone who inspired poets heart?
    there is much energy in this sweet song of admiration, one can feel the blaze of emotions and strong devotion.
    A brave and innovative mixing of class and creativity and a reflection of deep insight
    A smooth volley and swings of feelings threaded in this enchanting ballad.
    Poetry is not just a sharing of feelings but something different and special to be penned and Shazia is doing it..........

    p.s. i am totally ignorant to the reference you made in your poem
    (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (10/1/2013 1:06:00 PM)

    A fascinating and intriguing write Shahzia, which leaves me somewhat puzzled. (Report) Reply

  • (10/1/2013 5:39:00 AM)

    A wonder similes drawn and special feelings echoed all though the poem. It produced ever lasting impression my mind. Kudos! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, September 29, 2013

Poem Edited: Thursday, October 31, 2013

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