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Difference!

Rating: 4.9

Vast as ocean, apart as grains
I could remember...
no songs of love,
no voice of hate
So... warm during day
and... cool at night
... you stretched your arm initiating a relation! ! !
in the next moment...
I slipped off your hand...
When I was SAND!

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Monday, April 20, 2009
Topic(s) of this poem: relationship
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COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Ravi A 12 May 2009

Sand and cloud...The symbols are carefully chosen. Good. I liked it. At your age, love poems are natural for you. 'Cool in the night'. Kindly re-write as 'Cool at night'. This is what my teacher says from the corner of my mind! . Thanks for sharing.

2 0 Reply
V P Mahur 25 March 2014

Dear Ali, Thanks for your kind comments. this poem reflects the agony and pain of love. Nicely wrtten. Thanks again.

2 0 Reply
Akhtar Jawad 17 September 2015

A beautiful symbolic poem, impressive being meaningful............................

2 0 Reply
Farah Aliah 04 December 2009

Okay....fine...and sweet tooo.. 10++++++++++

1 0 Reply
Sandhya S N 13 May 2009

I liked the similies sand and cloud good imaginations regards sandhya

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Susan Williams 21 September 2020

Now that was original! ! ! I was so startled to read the word Sand! ! ! I reread the verse. Ah-ha! I eagerly read the second verse. Cloud! ! ! Awesome! ! ! ! I hoped for more verses because I so enjoyed this angle on love- -it was heart-breaking but so fresh and straight from the anguished heart! ! 10++++++++++++++++

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Mj Lemon 30 December 2019

I always find myself coming back to this verse. Each time, I am struck by a slightly different message, a different nuance. I now notice how the words can mean the louder we shout, the more we demand to be noticed, the greater the risk of disappearing...into the metaphorical clouds. A profound work, Ali.

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Aya Sunga Askert 20 March 2018

approaching my love with countless kisses bleeding fast, screaming loud... love the ending..thank you for this very well penned poem

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Kumarmani Mahakul 26 August 2017

An imaginative presentation on nature with muse of life. Stunning expression. Thanks for sharing.

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Bharati Nayak 15 August 2017

Vast as ocean, apart as grains I could remember... no songs of love, no voice of hate So... warm during day and... cool at night ... you stretched your arm initiating a relation! ! ! in the next moment... I slipped off your hand... When I was SAND! - - - - - - - - - - - Feeling of love is grace of God.The earthly love is but a particle of His infinite love. The soul cries to be united with love.- - from finite to infinity.

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