I Squished An Ant...... [ Growing Up; Parenting; Death; Siblings; Fiction; Medium] Poem by Bri Edwards

My dad, God bless him, some thought was weird,
and not because he chewed tobacco and ….. had a beard.
But unlike some dads who leave raising kids up to 'Mom',
Dad parented gently, though he could be stern (while calm) .

One summer Sunday when I was four, I went outside to play.
[We had a fenced in yard, near San Francisco Bay.]
I had on brown shoes ……, which my dad had tied.
[I never could get the knots right, no matter how I tried! ]

My older sister was playing hopscotch….. on our concrete walk.
She'd never let me play the game with her; always she would balk.
But maybe ‘cause I'd just turned four, she said 'Go ahead and try'.
I got to number three, but landed on an ant; I began to cry.

Sis started laughing and then she called me 'a Big Crybaby'.
[I've always been sensitive around 'Death', but 'Crybaby'! ? ….. MAYBE.]
I removed the ant-killing shoe; knots I could UNdo.
On its bottom I found the ant, dead, and stuck like gum or glue.

I cried even louder, and ‘she' said 'It's ONLY an ANT! '
I ran inside and upstairs to Dad, so fast that I began to pant.
'Daddy' I cried between my sobs, 'I squished and ant! See? ! '
He viewed the corpse, then calmly said 'Let's bury it under a tree'.

My sister had come inside to see what had transpired.
She took a look at my shoe and saw the ant (expired) .
Then Dad said to her 'Would you help us lay the ant to rest? '
[Dad had lots of great ideas, growing up; that was one... of his best.]

Sis started to say 'No', but I think Dad gave her a 'look'.
So she helped us find an envelope and, in it, the ant, we took ….
to our backyard and Sis helped me pick out a tree.
A garden shovel was brought by Dad, and I got down on one knee.

Sis (with Dad's help) dug a shallow grave; it wasn't very big.
Then with two rubber bands I made a cross with a broken twig.
I said 'I'm sorry, Ant, that I squished you. Please don't be mad.'
Then I glanced at my sister who almost (but not quite) looked sad.

I placed the envelope in the hole, and covered it with some dirt.
Then Dad said a few words about ants and such, to make me feel less hurt.

(February 19, 2015)