Bri Edwards

(some time ago / Earth, i believe)

My Repetitious Future....[long; My Life/Personal; Math] - Poem by Bri Edwards

What do I have to look forward to the rest of my fine life?
It depends, to some degree at least, on my dear wife.
If she stays alive and somehow keeps on putting up with me,
I may live twenty more years (ten more than I 'should') . We'll see.

To make the math simple let's say my years left are ten.
So how many times might I repeat things between this day and then?
I mean some of the daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly things I do.
Some are necessary and some I enjoy, but some I don't look forward to.

Sleep: Let's say 10x365x10=36,500 hours, give or take.
That's about two-fifths as many hours as I'll be awake!
How many movie DVDs watched at night from our couch?
That's 5x52x10=2600 movies we'll see. Ouch.

At only two real meals a day, that's still 7300 sittings to dine,
but with an equal number of snacks I think that I'll be fine.
And while Aki slaves to prepare about 3400 dinners
I'll be reading to us aloud from 130 novels of murder, losers, and winners.

If my body cooperates I'll take 2600 walks, give or take.
Some will be near Bay, but most will be near home that I'll make.
And walking my town's streets I'll take down 300 outdated signs,
and trim 200 overhanging branches as long as no one whines.

I'll practice Happy Birthday on piano 3000 times, most times while standing,
and do perhaps 200 little home projects, which may include some sanding.
I'll fill bird feeders 120 times or more, depending on the birds,
and 2000 times add water to bird dishes, removing first their turds.

I'll romance my wife 520 times; that figure may be high.
I'll shave my face a thousand times unless I give beard, again, a try.
Trim toenails 60 times and fingernails about one-o-five.
3650 showers I'll take as long as wife's alive.

I'll have an untold number of bowel movements. Wait and see.
And ‘bout eighteen thousand times, usually without flushing, I'll pee.
I'll have 10 to 100 doctor appointments. Who really knows?
I'll go to dental office twice yearly, though their current business staff blows.

I'll brush my teeth six or seven thousand times, but with no flossing.
I'll punch a time clock no more times; except for from my wife, I'll have no bossing.

Ten or twenty shirts I'll wear out completely, while getting countless others dirty.
I'll call my siblings about 400 times, especially my sister Birdie.
I'll call friends about 2500 times, plus emails, but few letters.
I might wear an outdoor jacket 400 times, but I'll rarely wear a sweater.

I'll take 3600 doses of aspirin, and twice-that of flaxseed oil,
and 500 bottles of red wine to, hopefully, bad health foil.
I'll open our mailbox over 3000 times unless Saturday delivery stops.
And perhaps 70 times, as a good citizen, I'll call the local cops.

I'll vote for U.S. president three times I guess, no fewer,
and more times to reelect lesser-officials or to elect some people-newer.
I'll send 200 checks to those less-fortunate or to help environment.
And, with my wife,10 times we'll file tax returns, an annual requirement.

I'll wear a necktie no more times; that I can just about swear.
My wife may trim my hair now and then, but no barber will cut my hair.
I'll have eyes examined 8 or 10 times, and buy perhaps 4 pairs of glasses.
A few times, when wife's not looking, I'll look at pretty lasses.

I may attend 3 or 4 weddings, and funerals perhaps one or two.
I plan to attend one or two high school reunions; I'll see what I can do.
My wife will probably take me on 3 to 5 trips beyond the U.S. borders,
and each year 2 or 3 more-local trips; from her I take my orders.

I plan no more colonoscopies, though I don't mind them at all.
I may have a few 'suspicious' moles removed. Doc and wife will make the call.
There should be 1 more census form to fill out for our government,
and 120 credit card statements to check to see what we have spent.

I expect to become a grandpa two or three times. That's ok.
And for 20 migration seasons I may welcome duck travelers to the Bay.
I'll write perhaps 500 poems if I get inspired,
and check blood pressure a thousand times to see how high I'm wired.

I'll say 2500 times to my dear wife, 'I love you'. I do.
And a thousand times 'I'm sorry', though sometimes it's not true.

I'll die one time. One time is all. I hope no one I'll sadden.
[If I croak in less than 10 years, perhaps some folks I'll gladden.]
But, believe me, if I last more than ten years, I hope no one I'll madden.

(2012?)

at age 64 i don't feel i should take up too much space or too many natural resources for too many more years.....but i have a little pressure from a couple of people to keep living so i might do that....unless CRASH 'where'd that bus come from? '

====================

after this poem was chosen, when i was/am 67, to display to members of PH by PH, i got several comments. this lead me to notice a typo in the last stanza. i have now changed '2500 time' to '2500 times'! !

bri :) we all make mistakes! right? ? ? ?

• (3/28/2016 12:09:00 AM)

A funny mix of maths and literature! Congrats on being poet of the day! (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 4:30:00 PM)

To write 500 poems, fill the bird feeder 120 times and sleep 10 hrs a day and love your spouse.....what else one would want. Funeral list might be longer that you think though! Enjoyed the poem. Congratulations for being poem of the day. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 3:45:00 PM)

very peculiar...congrats for emerging as member poem of the day (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 2:52:00 PM)

This poem made me think a lot, the entire length of the poem and especially when I got to the poet's notes as I'm 65 myself and really the last few weeks thinking about this a lot: how many more times...

But the thing that really struck me was out of all the counting ups of the varioius actions, activities, death, measely death only gets one chance. Somehow this gave me a feeling of much expanded time and freedom.
Thank you for this realization, a very good one for Easter day; may you and your wife live a long time yet in good health and filled to the brim with the things you really (both of you) wish to do.

• (3/27/2016 11:18:00 AM)

It's nice to see you as member poet of the day Bri. Take each day as it comes. Enjoy the beauty of nature all around you as it unfolds and cherish the love that you have. I'm 66 this year, I lost my wife four years ago, and I have just rekindled my love in photography (hence the lack of poems lately) and I have a dog that gets me out the house. The only other suggestion is never let yourself get angry. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 9:09:00 AM)

Written in 2012 and no comments until now? Bri, I guess it was so long that nobody wanted to read it until it was chosen as poem of the day. Just kidding, my friend, I hope you are having fun in Europe. Too bad you probably won't find out this was chosen until long after the fact, but it is well-deserved anyway. Great job, buddy. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 9:05:00 AM)

bri,
it took me some reading but it was worth it
congrats my friend
bro.

• (3/27/2016 8:58:00 AM)

Wunnerful! I really liked the tallying. I do this often, perhaps as a way of putting things into perspective. Stats show that married people live longer...You may be immortal.: -) (Report) Reply

Kim Barney (3/28/2016 6:05:00 PM)

Married men don't really live longer. It just SEEMS longer. Ha!

• (3/27/2016 8:35:00 AM)

Congrats

• (3/27/2016 8:03:00 AM)

Na wa o. I'm into the spirit of this poem. The lines are beautifully alluring. I love this poem. We actually don't have to live too long, maybe for someone's sake (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 6:44:00 AM)

Bri Congratulations ontogeny Poem of the Day! Well deserved! (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 5:46:00 AM)

Heartiest Congrats on the Poem of the Day and this beautifully envisioned equally beautiful poem expressing a desire about the future course of life, with minute details. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 5:29:00 AM)

Bri my friend...we need you..we feel sorry to think and see your calculation to sit in dine for 7300....and every calculation......we need you in numberless new poems............keep writing for us.... have a ear to my murmuring...you have written a great poem from the deepest corner of your heart.... nurul. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 4:59:00 AM)

Excellent poem with the details of calculations. I really enjoyed your lovely write! (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 3:43:00 AM)

A thousand times 'i'm sorry '! Thanks for sharing. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 2:43:00 AM)

Congratulations, Bri. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece of poetry. Enjoyed reading it. It might propel others to draw up their own charts based on their estimated life span. I quote:
A few times, when wife's not looking, I'll look at pretty lasses.
I'll say 2500 time to my dear wife, 'I love you'. I do.
And a thousand times 'I'm sorry', though sometimes it's not true.

• (3/27/2016 2:39:00 AM)

The calculation of longevity and ensuring the remaining years by the active support and care of the best half a good imagination the poet made. (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 2:28:00 AM)

In other words, your mind prepares you for the next inevitable event, which is going to take place one day or the other, on what ever cause it is going to be. When most people seem to get scared to think even on this, you do it quite joyfully. Great! You are inspiring us too, to follow suit. Also congratulations on your well deserved accomplishment Bri. X (Report) Reply

• (3/27/2016 12:55:00 AM)

Congratulations, Bri Edwards, it's a beautiful poem. (Report) Reply

• (11/25/2015 9:11:00 AM)

They say I have a metabolism that, if marketed, could make me a fortune. Consistent 160-165 lbs Walks every day.
Wife of 61 years only threatens to throw me out about once a year My salvation is the fact I am the father of her children. I would not be at all surprised to beat George Burns record of 100 years. I expect her to outlive me by 20 years. It is traditional in our family. (4 yrs difference) Move to a condo has given us a new lease on life this year. Great people here. I like your biographical fore-telling and may produce my equivalent. only a 9 since I hope it is innacurate in your length of years. Live many and be content.

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, November 10, 2012

Poem Edited: Saturday, April 30, 2016

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