Mahal Kita, Mommasita! ! (For Mother's Day) Poem by Lee Degnan

Mahal Kita, Mommasita! ! (For Mother's Day)

Rating: 5.0

I wish I was there every minute
Just to look at you and sit by your side
And hold your hand when the pain hits
and pray that it quickly subsides
I wish there was a magic potion
that could take all your cancer away
If only praying to God and showing my devotion
would cure you, I would never again stray
If I could take back time before this
and paid attention to all your clues
never again would I ever think to dismiss
my obligations and would've gladly paid my dues

But now I am left to struggle here
and watch you suffer and slowly die
you're my pillar of strength and what I hold dear
but the loss I feel somehow, I can't deny
What lesson is it am I supposed to learn?
Will I ever be told a good reason why?
these question will still inside burn
until the very day that I die
It really has been incredible how
in one month your life has changed so
living a full life up until the here and now
consciousness just seems to come and go

My sense of justice, crying, screaming
'how could this happen to my mom?
wake me up, I must be dreaming!
and why are all these doctors so damn calm? ? '
And I suddenly realize that the hate,
remorse, bargaining, denial and despair I feel
is because there's no control of what is your fate
That this is your life and this is your ordeal.
You taught me nothing is easy, that to survive is to fight
I just hope that you still have it in you
to give this all that you have, all your might...
Because I'm right here, holding your hand, to see you through.


It's now a month since you've passed away
and I just read this poem through
and I'm finding that the feelings I felt that day
are what my heart still knows to be true
This past month has been so hard, Mom
and I'm really trying with all of my might
Outside I might be handling it with great aplomb
but inside I think I might be losing the fight
For this Sunday will mark the first Mother's Day
of many I will be spending without you here
my tears my children will wish away
but the day has definitely lost its cheer

So now that you're up in Heaven
I need to ask you if you'll be my angel
and with your help maybe it could leaven
the pain that keeps threatening to strangle
I need your strength now for my children
for this thought now scares me the most...
Their mother is replaced with a broken woman
in the shadow of her own mother's ghost
Help me teach them what Mahal Kita means
as you've shown me my whole life through
Love doesn't always have to be seen
if felt by the presence of you.

*This poem is written in two parts: the first was written back in late March, just mere days before my mother passed away (during her second chemo treatment): the second was written a month after her passing*

Cecelia Warner 10 May 2007

I love you Lee. Awesome poem.

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Jerry Hughes 11 May 2007

...this must have been very difficult to write Lee, my admiration and respect for a fine work. Warmly and fondly, Jerry

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Duncan Wyllie 11 May 2007

Dear Lee This may sound strange, but I had an extraordinary feeling of peace at the end of this one, and guess what, the sun has just come out.... Take care my friend Love duncan X

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fanniesson - 12 May 2007

a great piece here too bad it’s from your own experience. The flow & thoughts all just melt together you can’t ask for anything better sorry for your lost mike.......

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Rommel Filoteo 21 October 2007

I know that the very first day that your mother saw you in person, she just held us so tightly... she didn't want to let you go, and time stood still. She always had a perfect day and she knew it could only get better and better if she only stood by your side, held, kissed and hugged. I know that after that moment you never went through a day without saying how much you love her and need her the rest of our life. So strong & so much string attached. Nicely penned! Mahal na Mahal ni Mommasita gaya ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya! A Great tribute to your Mother.

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Meggie Gultiano 31 August 2007

Lee, i can also relate to this.. I lost my mother 10 months ago, and it pains me that i was not at her bedside when she breathe her last.Right now, am still in pain, losing her..Mahal na mahal ko rin siya..What a beautiful tribute you have made to your Mom..I was in tears reading this..take care.. mahal kita, Meggie

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Jemarie Ragudo 12 August 2007

I almost cried reading your poem. My mother died seven years ago and until now I can't talk about her without crying. You wrote such vivid images I could actually see you sitting by her bedside. It is the pain we go through in life that makes us write with so much intensity. I won't forget this poem.

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Chris Mendros 07 July 2007

this is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever seen. 'If I could take back time...' just one of the endless list of 'if onlys' that accompanies such an event. Leaves a chasm of longing in my gut. '...I must be dreaming...' that wishful thinking in the face of harsh, unfair reality. '..if I felt the presence of you...' that enduring gift that a loving parent leaves behind. This is so heartfelt and inspired. Brings back memories of what i was thinking when my dad was slipping away. Very nice work.

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Edna Javelosa 26 June 2007

beautiful expressions of love for a great mom..' I was there every minute Just to look at you and sit by your side And hold your hand when the pain hits..' so real from the heart..great write.

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