My Words Fall On Deaf Ears... - Poem by Razorblade Kiss
I have been lead to believe that Betrayal can be one of the most difficult emotions to live with. It sit in the pit of your stomach like a growing stell ball as you relize you placed so much trust into the betrayer. Your tears are no comfort, and when you have nothing but yourself, you know your were a fool. It's a growing anxiety as you wonder what there doing with the knowledge you so willinly imparted on them.
I have been betrayed so many times in my short life I often find myself wondering why I haven't grown accostum to the ache it brings. Or why haven't I learn that trusting, even kin, can bring it, perhaps even more so simple because they are your family.
My words fall on deaf ears. My request die on my lips like they were never born. I am often shunned, abadon, taking advanage of and isolated from everyone else. I find I am almost always ignored, and very few people are sensitive to my emotions when they tend to... be a little hard to handle.
I have been used and disposed of like a piece of trash. No one seems to notice I am still human, though I like to forget that.
I don't even understand myself, why I'm so empty and angre. Nothing fills that little place in me save angre and lonelness. I will not lie, ocassional a brief, joyous feeling fills the void, but then it is brough down hard by cold facts and cruel reality.
I realize that I am to die allow to, simply because no one will ever understand me. Should I expect them to? No one can really undertand anyone simply because we will never think anyone else's thoughts. So why should I expect someone to understand me if I don't even understand myself? I believe a great man once said, 'We are always in are own company.' How befitting.
Dying alone doesn't bother me so much now as it use to. But at times I find myself wishing someone would actually like me for me and not my body (I don't say that in arrogence, it's simply the truth) .
Maturity wise, I believe I may have grow beyond my own age limited. Which only highens my suspions that I will die alone.
I suppose it's not the dying alone that bothers me. But rather being alone for the rest of my life.
I just needed to get that out in the open, behind closed doors, where no one knows me. *Bitter laugh.* I don't much expect people to read this blog, let alone leave a comment or the such. My life is so bleak.
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